~00=LiFe Of A LiVinG wOrM=00~

2006-07-03T09:45:00.000+08:00

ok seriously, Mr *****, u r very RUDE! do u noe dat ure very unreasonable?? u made all of us very mad! VERY!! u dun hav to show attitude wad.. cant u lyk be more gentle toking to us??

u wanna noe the story? basically, we juz got back our test paper.. so, we wanna noe y he
gave us certain marks for certain qns.. instead of answering nicely, he was like "u tell me now, is dis the correct ans??" hello~ we r ur student.. how r we supposed to noe if we're right
or wrong??? ure supposed to tell us..if he said dat nicely, it wud b a diff story.

the other thing, i was checking my paper rite.. den carol was asking him abt a qn,
he rudely asked me to giv him back the paper n ask me go away.. FUCK la! firstly,
i wasnt even doing anything wrong.. 2ndly, u rudely ask me go away.. snatch my test
paper n throw it one side! woah.. bigshot izit.. who wudnt be angry????

after a long tym den he ask me whether i wanna check the paper.. guess wad, i DONT
wan to c that paper.. i wudnt wanna c all ur wrong marking schemes n argue for marks..
THANKS ALOT!!

2006-06-23T17:34:00.000+08:00

oh ya.. btw.. pls stop telling me that you guys want to berak
okay.. do i look like a toilet bowl to u??
and im not ur mum(juz in case u say dat u always tell ur mum dat)..

i forgot to mention some ppl.. YAZID..
thank you sooo much! u're one of the people who motivates me
to do better.. u even say that i'm good.. u made me believe dat i am!
thanks alot Ajid..

and of cos.. not forgetting.. the pressy..
FADZLEY..
without your moral support, things will not be the way it is..
altho u werent there to witness the magic, ur call from KL
made a difference..
THANKS!!

to SAYANG n Bul...
thanks for coming!!
i love you sooo much!! *hugs and Kisses*
ok, that last bit was for sayang ONLY.. lols

for those who came:
my parents
kak hajar
iman
diyanah & sabrina
Bik Wa
Ruben & fren(sorry forgot ur name)
chevy, cheryl
dexter n gf
iris
eric
wee wee
ina, jane, betsy, weili ( i love ya guys!!)
azlin n bf
jacky, shao hao and CY
alice and syahid
ali and marianne
wen loong and charlotte

i really really appreciate you guys for coming...
i love you guys sooo much!!
:)

kinda disappointed dat some of u didnt..
but its okay..
=))

i miss it.. EVERY bit of it...
*sighs*

2006-06-23T13:34:00.000+08:00

hello people....

these few days, everything is soo slow..
a part of my life has gone away..

DREAMSCAPE 3.0...

reality check, no more dreams..

you know, DREAMSCAPE 3.0 is my FIRST ever production in TP..
and its the FIRST time someone gave the role as one of the LEAD..

thanks to Shahdon and Nad for giving me the opportunity..
really really appreciate it.. i learnt sooo much from you guys..
its really really an honour because i always thot im not gd
enough to be one of the leads..
Thanks Nad for the letter and flower..
it's the first tym i ever received a flower.. thanks..

thanks Kin for being my co-actor.. i learnt quite alot frm
you too! Mak loves you too!
Thanks for the postcard, post-it and the chocolate..

Last of all, thank you HallyTong and Melvyn for
believing that i could do it..
Thanks for being part of my cam-whoring team!

To the rest of the cast, thanks for making the whole show
magical, without each one of you, it wont be DREAMSCAPE 3.0!

2006-06-08T09:33:00.000+08:00

By Temasek Polytechnic DramaTec

DREAMSCAPE 3.0
p l a y . s t o p . r e w i n d .

producers:
Shahdon Md. Jamil
Ramkumar Kabetha Bai

directors:
Nurashikin Abd. Rahim
Nur Nadira Zainal
Shahdon Md. Jamil

venue: Auditorium 2 Odyssey
date: 15th & 16th June 2006
time: 7.30pm (Door opens at 7pm)
ticket price: $5

A devised play, set in an unknown space where dreams are played out. Be fascinated by 3 original pieces interwoven with multimedia and live stage performances.

disappointment
A mother daughter relationship which will allow the audience to relate to it... Teenage hood, parental arguments, expectations, the eyes of society.

paranoia
Everyone goes through it, a roller coaster ride that will take the audience through a relationship that test trust and honesty of a partner... Marriage is definitely not an easy commitment, but how far will neglect test a person's loyalty?

lost
A person feels lonely and lost and everyone yearns for freedom. The freedom to choose one's path in life, the freedom to do what they desire... A story that will definitely keep the audience captivated with the obstacles they see within the story and how a character overcomes it.

GET YOUR TICKETS NOW @
our ticket booth outside One-Stop Service Centre!

For booking, please contact syafiqah at crystal_clear_iqah@hotmail.com

2006-05-24T20:56:00.000+08:00

hey... i have to stay home the whole day today.. BUMMER...
my cough got worse n i was afraid it was asthma instead cos
i was wheezing..

last nite, i cudnt even slp peacefully.. each tym i lie down, i
felt that i cudnt breathe.. so i had to sit up.. when i breathe
hard, i had to cough.. when i thot it wud b fine, i went to lie
down again.. but the feeling came back n cycle goes on n on
till the next morning.. by 4.30am i was already in tears..

my chest hurts so bad from all that breathing n coughing..
i was exhausted beacause i cudnt breathe properly.. i had to
take short breaths but it wudnt last so, wen i breathe deep, it
hurts n i had cough again.. n the lack of slp.. i was very SLEEPY
but i cudnt sleep bcos of it.. i told my dad i wanna go to the clinic..
i tink he thot i wasnt serious so he dint bother to even reply..
wen i told him it was urgent n told him wad happen, he n my mum
both scolded me for being sick.. imagine that.. i was suffering.. n
they still scold me..say i nv take care lah.. go hm so late lah..
but dad agreed to drive me to the clinic niways..

i waited n waited n waited.. 9am, i was still at hm.. usually by then
dad wud ask me to get ready n all.. den at abt 10 mum n dad quarrelled
abt me n the car.. i was like.. WTH.. dad's car no aircon.. he decided
to take the car to fix the prob first instead of sending me to the doc..
yea.. i guess the car is more important than his own daughter having
trouble breathing properly.. he wud rather c me suffer den c the car
aircon-less.. WATEVER

i finally went to the doc at almost 12.. WITHOUT the car.. its still
at the workshop..we took a cab to the clinic.. the fare? $2.80..
like WTH..

even at the clinic.. i had to wait for bloody long b4 i get to see the doc..
i almost fainted lahs.. i cudnt breathe dat i felt faint.. i had to wait outside
cos the aircon wasnt much of a help..

wen i gt home, i ate lunch n den i ate medicine.. after dat.. i knocked out..
i mean.. i fell aslp for amazingly 5hrs...like FINALLY.. it was a peaceful
sleep..

today.. frens made me feel important.. jane, betsy, totz, ali.. thanks
for the sms guys..

even sick, i still feel important.. especially ali the engine warrior.. he
was the first to reply me wen i smsed a few ppl abt nt being able
to slp or breathe properly.. his smses were at tyms funny.. which
made me laugh.. afterall, laughter is the best medicine..

reminds me of the tym in ETC.. evryone in BASILISK r simply sweet..
they were all frenly n very protective of each other.. they care abt
each others' welfare.. i remember the guys protecting us girls in the
"HAUNTED" room.. me n Nad were scared.. then Lex, Max, Jimmy,
farhan, the ifc guy and the TP Lifesaver guy so-called protected us..
den during breakfast, i was energy -less, lex help me get milo for
me even tho i told him not to.. aww.. so sweet..
thanks.. i will never ever forget that moment.. I LOVE BASILISK!

u.. i miss you.. do u even miss me? where r u.. why dint u call me...
i noe u went for training.. i thot u'd call b4 u leave ur hse.. or, maybe,
juz an sms? did i do sumthing wrong? tell me...

yest.. ur sms.. abt u nt being as close to me as b4.. is it really the reason?
den after dat sms u msn me.. u asked me if i wanted to noe the real
reason? i said yes.. u told me.. and den.. i wonder.. which is the reason?
im confused.. u.. wads happening.. im lost.. y am i feeling so empty..

u.. tok to me.. tell me u care.. do i still cross ur mind? i dunno anymore..
i'll wait till u can tell me wads wrong..
i'll wait even if it takes yrs.. for now.. i'll leave..

remember the last show we watched together in the library? maybe, i'll
come back 10yrs later.. juz lyk her..

2006-05-22T09:20:00.000+08:00

im supposedly having MobComp now.. but Mr Srini went out to
have break.. im not saying hes a lazy lecturer but he is a
VERY THOTFUL one.. he's not the only one having break.. ALL
of us are.. that's what u get when ur 3hr lessons are supervised
by a thotful lecturer..

yea anyway.. this entry is to APOLOGISE to evryone..
i'm very sorry i have been IMPOSSIBLE these days.. been very
cranky lah.. abit stressed up lyk wad ive mentioned in my blog..
im very very sorry if i snapped at u guys for no reason aight..

**and to anonymous, i noe who u are.. trying to pretend huh..
i noe u nvr cared abt me.. then, DONT! juz leave me alone..
and i noe u wun tag again.. cos its typical YOU!**

okay hmm.. now im worried abt my studies.. some lectures are
kinda dry.. so,its difficult for me to understand any of it in
ONE HOUR.. but i really tink that all my subjects are interesting
don't believe me? up to u.. haha..
but seriously.. i like learning abt all this internet stuff.. juz
that the theory part makes me doze off.. i ALWAYS love the hands-on
process.. i hope u guys r thinkin straight yea.. moving on.. toking
abt the hands-on.. i really lyk doing up websites, animations and
juz basically programming..

okay.. sorry i sound so boring for awhile there.. okay i WONT tok abt
my studies until later on alright.. for now.. i am trying
not to blow up for no reason.. forgive me in advance if i get
cranky.. i'm having a badcase of flu and fever..

and guess what, i miss JieLong!! its been so long since i
chat with him.. the last tym i even saw him was.. okay, i cnt
remember.. but he walked opast my hse.. hes going out.. hes
ALWAYS going out.. so free huh?? i tink he still plays pool..
i wonder which pool area he goes to.. izit the one at parkway?
okay, my fav dragonboy, i shall not continue this portion abt
u.. later *he get jealous.. hehe.. yea.. shuddup.. LOLS

::::::::::::::::::::::::to him::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
hello.. how are you.. you're having lesson now rite..
gonna have mobcomp quiz? i juz finished mine.. was okay..
kinda tricky.. okAYu caught me.. i was lying.. sorry..
yes its DIFFICULT.. take it from sum1 who studies last min..
first 2 qns are easy tho.. okay.. no clues..
u noe, i dreamt abt u last nite.. okay, no.. it was a nightmare..
okay wait.. a FUNNY nightmare i shall add.. hehehe

u wanted to kill me!! u threatened to throw me down from the
last floor of your Block.. i dunno y.. we kinda argued before
that.. and then ur sis came out.. she was crying.. den i saw
sum1 at the bottom.. guess who?? FERHAN..
okay.. no more.. i will not elaborate further.. too painful..
yea.. nvm.. i'll see you later aight.. o shyt.. u got lesson
till 6!!! nooooo.... means i can only see u after ur training..
after my rehearsal..
ok.. see ya!! =))
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

that's all folks!
love y'all!!

for the record, Mr President is FINALLY attached!
heee~

2006-05-18T00:06:00.000+08:00

for a moment, i thot ive lost myself after wad happen during
rehearsal last night.. i SUCK.. yes i did.. and its not funny..
im sorry i kinda disappointed u guys last nyt..
im trying my best.. i noe i can do it..

ya.. i thot i cud be enon n forget evrything else.. i thot i was
enon.. but it was juz my imagination.. bcos i thot i was crying
bcos of my line.. the first tym, maybe.. the next.. i duno..
i duno anymore.......

who am i?? someone pls answer me.......

monday.. first day of the week... i felt so lonely.. really..
it was as if i dun have a fren in sch.. at all.. or.. i juz
hav too little frens.. i dunno.. i was in sch like a lost kid
waiting for sum1 to come join me to tok.. or eat.. but.. no one
appeared.. NO ONE!

tuesday.. after sch, met him n den go for drama.. actually wanted
to excuse myself cos of the pile of shit i had to do at hm.. but i
noe i cnt cos its really important.. n i SUCK! i SUCK ok! i cry at
the wrong tym.. it was after de whole rehearsal den i cried.. LIKE
A BABY! why????? thx faiz who never fails to put a smile on my face
and i noe he tried very hard cos at any silent moment, i start
tearing all over again..

like now.. sumthing happened.. ive turned to the old me.. the old me
which was supposed to be dead! y am i so sensitive? OVERSENSITIVE??
it was supposed to be gone!!y is it back? y?? like wad faiz say, dun
bother abt wad he said juz now.. i noe! i noe he dint mean it! even if
he does, i dun care. i dun care wad he said. but i feel hurt. y? wad did
he do? NOTHING!!

i hate myself!! y am i acting so childishly!! y am i still crying??
thnks totz for asking anyway.. i juz dunno wds wrong wif me! theres
nothing right abt me either!! i really feel lyk killing myself!!!
ugh! i hate me!!

wad am i gonna do now?? tests nxt wk! EVRYDAY! SO MANY TOPICS!
AND den stil got ENON's LINES! MAS shud juz ****ing catch
up wif tym!and she shud juz chop of her head to stop crying!
go n die mas!! goo!

2006-05-10T00:50:00.000+08:00

hey people.. guess what??

ive done it!!
my ICA is done!! as in codes la... u noe.. java codes..
Aug, James and Cheryl no nid to worry liao..
thanks james for ur help!!
give u more kisses next time!
ehh, wad u thinking ah.. Hershey's Kisses of cos.. =P
i did it from 12 till now.. 5.30am!!
woots!!
yay!

oh shit.. still hav to do telsys tutorial 3& 4 though..
after that, do the ppt slides together.. if gt tym, i nid
to edit my DMSD presentation oso..
hope it wud b done by 5pm..
6 meet Dt, 6.30 main comm meeting..

den go hm prepare both presentation for thurs..
rehearse main production script..
woah.. loooks lyk i cnt slp even a little..

bleah.. watever..
at least ICA is done!!
byee!!

2006-04-16T17:36:00.000+08:00

wokays wokays.. my blog is so blardy dusty..
i can see spiderwebs accumulating..oh myy....
nvr update for so blardy de long..

duno wad to say actually..
been busy with rehearsals for AGM & Main
Production as usual..
the mentor camps and BBQs..

met so many fun-loving cute ppl in camp..
most of all.. they're super nice n they
care abt the welfare of others around..
sweet rite..

next was arts induction camp.. a very
educational camp.. fun journey filled with
new frens.. old frens too.. and more abt
responsibility.. can la.. not bad..

and.. all this buzz made me miss him loads..
i missed him so damn much la.. but its okay..
im meeting him tmr..

oh ya.. not forgetting my 06 darlings including
the mentors.. u guys rocks my socks..

Ms Soh,i miss you!! =))

yea.. so wads on for tmr? morning shopping wif my
mum den meeting him.. den meet the other Basilisk
fools.. i mean the mentors.. hehe..

den at 6pm, meeting wif DT maincomm..
i feel the stress already..
so tmr im gonna buy evrything liaoz..

so, i gotta prepare for all those..

tues, thurs filming..
wed-fri orientation for freshies..
more cheering!! wee~!!
me n calor made a promise to lose our voice by the
end of the week! im gonna keep to that promise!!
i'll scream if i hav too.. hehe

yea.. hopefully this saturday i can meet
him.. juz the 2 of us.. i hope i hope..
i miss u sweetheart..

=)
hugs&kisses
GooDNighT.WorlD!

2006-04-06T00:02:00.000+08:00

GRRR!!
not really a very bad day.. the bad thing is, the PMS
monster inside me took over my body for 2blardy days!!
waaargghh!!

there it goes again.. yesterday.. was supposed to b MY DAY!
eh wait.. no.. OUR day.. our 2nd month.. but the weather
ruined my blardy mood!! the other thing, cancelling sumthing
at the last minute.. wen i found out frm SYG dat phototaking
cancelled, i feel like breaking the cue stick lar.. btw i was
playing pool at dat moment.. nt angry at him but angry at d
fact dat if it was cancelled earlier, we cud've watched movie!
nevertheless, spending quality time wif him is gd enuff la..
but den, i was merajok-ing most of the tym lah.. i wud've
juz slap myself la.. sowie eh SYG.. he had to pujok me
all the way..

den today.. AGM.. i blardy wasted $7.50 cab money to rush to sch
for AGM rehearsal only to find out dat it hasn't started.. imagine,
i was asked to b there at 10am bt i was there almost 11 and sum1
hasnt show up! i was fuming MAD! but well, dancing cooled me down
la.. but afterdat, wen sum1 finally came, my ANGER came back! but
den.. of course.. dancing.. made me cool down.. but still.. i wasted
$7.50!! waaarghh! yea.. we cud play pool 2more hrs wif dat.. tau!
of cos i was also eager to meet SYG cos of the bad day bad weather,
and i was even sick..so, i wen i met him at Downtown, there goes my
mood again.. see! PMS!! but soon after, my new addiction, pool, cheer
me up.. altho i NEVER win.. haha.. well, of cos syg cheered me up too..

ya, and guess what?
I, SITI MASTURA BINTE MOHAMED ALJUHARI won MUHD FADZLEY YATIM in a
game of pool today!! 050406!!! VICTORY!! wahahaha....
ok yea.. by one mistake niways.. he shot the black ball in.. ahah!!

ok enuff of dat bragging bit.. my darling dearest FYDA has solved
probs wif dearest Egg i tink.. i hope.. i assume.. haha.. they seem
okay now! yippee!!! hehehe! so happy for them! lalalala.. n im excited
cos we'll b meeting soon for either bowling or pool ah.. wee!! miss
her loads oredy! wahahaha! luv u! muacks!

tmr meeting syg.. must meet b4 i go off for camp on fri sat.. i will
miss him loads! lucky gt picture oredy! hehehe..

btw, syg, sorry eh dis days im super manje n super QUEEN-ish.. as if
i own everything.. as if evrything i do or say is right.. sorry eh..
duno y PMS disturb me.. sorry eh.. u gimme chocs n i'll b fine..
hehehehe =)) and btw FYDA, u r so NOT FAT at all lah! gerl, u wan
to compare anot? or maybe i shud define the meaning of FAT to u..
u r NOT FAT!!! wokies.. i luv u both! hehe..

2006-04-02T14:36:00.000+08:00

okay.. this is my best fren..
sadly, it was her bday yesterday.. april fool's day.. she dun like it cos
ppl play pranks on her bday.. well, wat to do.. April Fool kan..

well, it was a long and hard decision on how to celebrate her bday dis yr..
as usual, she is indecisive.. but i still love her.. *hugs* hehe..
yesterday.. was okay lah.. we ended up inviting sayang n totz.. wanted to
ask bul n faarisi but they werent free ah.. so, 6 of us, which includes fyza
and dilah..

well, i duno.. i feel lyk she dint really enjoy this yr's celebration.. its kinda
sad.. i can tell she dint really enjoy it.. i tink without syg n totz, it wudnt
b as fun lah.. thnks for coming guys.. sorry for buggin u guys.. i appreciate it..

i was pretty upset as well cos i cud see dat shes bored.. really bored.. i didnt
lie to my parents and miss audition for nothing.. i even planned a little surprise
for her and all.. i mean.. i did all these for her.. i duno if she appreciate it lah..
cos she kinda scold me as soon as i reach her place.. ok i duno if shes joking
or not, bt im kinda hurt.. a little..

im sorry if my vcds were boring.. im sorry i kinda bluff u dat i cudnt come.. im
sorry if u tink my bday celebration is boring.. im sorry, i tried to make it fun..
so did totz n all.. sorry.. it was also raining so we cudnt really leave the hse..
im really really sorry dat u had to lie to ur parents abt totz n syg..

no matter wad.. i still love u darling.. ure still my besty.. besties forever..
remember? well, i hope u like the gift i gave you.. that is only part 2 btw..
part1 is the so-called surprise.. part 3 wif me.. =)

totz n sayang, thnks for cracking stupid jokes and random comments.. greatly appreciated!
oh ya.. she wanna noe wen is bowling?

2006-03-26T16:34:00.000+08:00

ok lah ppl i went to reset my tagboard cos i cant log in
my flooble account.. yea.. all new.. so, if its still too
long i still can edit the number of posts up.. okeys?

yea.. so.. yesterday's show was fine.. im sick of moon ppl
alredy lah dats y.. but Closer to Your Heart was juz SUPERB!
yea.. *applause* i love shaiful's scripts.. i wish i cud write
that well lah.. i cant.. my poems dun even rhyme i tell u!!
wahaha.. u guys in Closer to YOur Heart put on a GREAT show!!
I LOVE!! brought me to tears actually..

yea.. after dat, we ate supper.. den tok abt one guy.. me,
nad, kin n kay and nad's mum juz tok on n on abt him.. not cos
he's cute n nice n charming lah.. OPPOSITE! wahhaa.. i feel so
evil la.. but i dun care.. like wad alfri said "this is wad i
get for being friendly to him".. yes.. he knows the person la..

on fri i met Farhan.. also known as A-An now.. so long nv see
his cheeky face.. his hair permed to afro-style.. yea.. but
the only thing different abt him is, he is SUPER CHATTY..
more crazy i guess.. he wud say a comment, n den laugh n tell
himself to shuddup.. wahaha.. so nice to see him la.. updates
n all.. well, hav fun wif Ayu.. LOL

so today.. erms.. im crazving for bubble tea again.. i tink i'm
addicted lah.. its been 2 wks oredy n i hav been drinkin bubble
tea almost everyday!! oh my!
sayang! HELP ME! haha.. as if he can.. cant la.. if nv drink, i
will feel lost.. eh wait, i am ALWAYS lost! wahaha.. ok, im nuts
watever lah.. im stressed.. no bubble tea yesterday n today..
can sumone make me one???

btw.. sayang.. i nv forget u la.. i miss you loads!! =)

2006-03-24T10:53:00.000+08:00

YELLOW!!!

after so long, im finally back with an entry.. sorrylah
i dint get the opportunity to post an entry cos each tym
i wanna type sumthing, so many ppl's watching.. den now..
im home alone.. YEAH~!! wee!

hmm.. these days been really busy with rehearsals.. main
production and moon ppl.. not much of AGM cos the in-charge
is aware dat some of us has supp papers to study for.. thks!

So, the upcoming show is our mini version of Moon People at
Play Den.. pretty interesting but not as magical as the 2hr
version of cos.. the chorus girls, which includes me, is on
stage most of the tym.. on the floor.. pretty uncomfortable
ah.. i am so scared my legs wud fall asleep during the
performance this saturday.. pls do come n watch it.. tickets
at $20 for 2 shows.. the other show is Closer to Your Heart..
thumbs up show! u can hear shahdon sing!! yah.. come n watch!

The night of Totz b'day was somewhat fun la.. i love watching
totz frens play.. so funny.. i see a strong bond among them..
i feel jealous.. kinda.. cos sumtyms i dun feel that certain
special strong bond among my group of frens u see.. wen i was
there i feel i was kinda connected, but in fact i duno anyone
of them cept bul n alfri ah.. alfri's gf came oso.. petite but
very sweetlooking girl.. nice name too.. atikah..

the DT members who came were, pika, razin, kay, kin, neen, lewis,
harbi, yazid, jared and also a fren of DT. Mona.. oh ya.. n meili
came late at nite.. heh.. see.. not much.. so many ppl missing..

btw at the chalet, the choc cake was juz scrumptious.. its chocolate
of cos!! *smack lips* it tasted like the mud choclate cake from
secret recipe i tell u.. i crave for one right now!! and the chicken
and otah is wonderful.. actually those r the only things i ate..
so many kids around too!! u noe i LOVE kids rite.. they're like
adorable MONSTERS can?? sometimes juz horrible but mostly adorable!
theres one kid, not close to adorable, keeps bothering jared.. i
feel so sorry for dat guy.. i noe hes fuming mad.. i can tell..
but the girls are simply ADORABLE!! oh.. did i say dat already?
hehe.. got one boy.. sayang's enemy.. he's UBER CUTE caN?? his
cheeks are so soft! i pinched it! he whacks me wif a balloon..
hehe.. but worth it.. haha..

hmm ya.. dat monday.. supp paper was tough but doable la.. the mcq
was kinda tough for me ah.. but i hope i pass.. i tink i can pass
man.. *cross fingers*

on tuesday.. met up wif my baby n darlings.. Jane, Betsy, Ina n
WeiLi..went to eat Jap food.. funny lah.. we always hav fun at
dat place sumhow.. haha..so many things happened! one man thot
Jane was his daughter! wahaha!! den.. wen we asked for mayo,
the manager rpeated"mayonnaise" as if there's other kinda
food called mayo! there isnt okay! oh ya.. he FORGOT our mayo..
den we ask another guy.. former MPSS guy.. Jefferson.. he ALSO
FORGOT!! wth is ur prob man!! den i decided to ask the most
innocent looking waiter for mayo.. hes the one who serve at
first.. yea.. n he brought us MAYO within a min!! *applause*
hahaha! so farnie lah! oh yea.. n it was the first tym Ina
ate sumthing raw.. Salmon sushi.. wahaha.. we talked alot
abt ppl in the class we miss n dun miss.. ha.. den tok abt
stuff we miss out la.. miss dem soo much!! muacks!!

tym wif fyda is always treasured.. i luvv goin to her hse
to hang out lah.. her hse, got the warmth feeling of a home..
her family is wonderful.. we hang out.. eat.. watch sembilu..
do a makeover and take pics!! wahaha.. miss her oredy..
gonna spend my tym wif her on her bday.. all urs darling!

my sayang.. of cos i remember.. tym with him is very special
and altho we dun really meet each day but we r close at heart
nomatter what! muacks!

ok.. this is all the tym i hav to update arh.. im goin to meet
my sayang.. hehehe..

bye world!
Xx.MiNah.SerAi.xX

2006-03-08T23:12:00.000+08:00

Now people ask why i'm in love with you
Well, let me start by sayin you got my heart by just bein who you are
And what we got is between me and you
Doesn't matter about what i do or am i a star

Unconditionally you're there for me
Undeniably you inspire me, spiritually sweet
This is meaningful,incredible, pleasurable, unforgettable
From the way i feel, make me wanna say many things..

It's amazing how something sweet has come and rearranged my life
I've been so blessed by CUPID
An angel was presented right before my eyes
It's not ordinary cos he's loving me for me

helo people... i'm back...
Well, i found sumthing in my personal folders..
it's for him.. duhh.. hehehe
can't help it la sorry.. he's been gone for
2 nights already.. chalet wif the ruggers
at changi.. hope he had fun..
and hope no one tries to do anything funny to him ah..
Especially BUL! u ah, i haven complain abt u
in a full entry yet u noe.. beware ah..
=P

oh ya.. btw, i Mr Ng called me.. he asked me
to do some promotion for TP thru my blog..
SEAL points given!! haha.. bonus lah..
It's about the courses though.. and ya, he spelt
my name wif a 'H"!!! aaaaah! not only me, he spelt
Cheryl as Sheryl.. we wanted to strangle him!! ahaha..
kidding ah Mr Ng.. we love you! =P
oh ya, tokin about my name.. check this out!

Siti Mastura --

[noun]:

A person who laughs at anything (even this entry)

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

cool huh!!

so, anyways..
my mum today is weird.. shes in a bad bad mood! And
she let it out on me.. ugh.. irritated but yeah.. nvm
lah.. shes forgiven.. hehehehe.. and my sis.. kak sarah..
ALWAYS go out at the wrong time.. go home oso at d wrong
time.. kak, if u read this, pls.. erms.. haix.. nvm i duno
wad to say..

i have so many things to blog abt ah.. but i am currently
blank.. oh ya.. i remember..

ok.. i tink main production is gonna b so much fun n very
interesting ah.. during the characterisation process, i
picked a character in a short tym.. i got too little time
to think properly, i kinda tink my character is boring..
all i can tell u is the name of my character.. Mimi..
dats wad shes known as.. n den rite, after dat monday,
i tink ive been living in the life of my character.. not
EVRY part of it but, enuff to feel the character.. its
so scary can.. i even had the nightmares MIMI had..
its scaring me.. alittle.. cos i DONT wanna be mimi..
or... am i mimi?

woah..

wad else am i supposed to say? oh ya.. miss the 06 peeps!
the wee wee drypers is in CHINA.. and u guys shud
actually chat wif him thru webcam, and make sure hes also
watching tv at the same tym.. so many different expressions!!
hahahaahah!! then right, i juz noe dat yawning is contagious
even over the net.. haha.. ask wee wee how many million tyms
he yawned and i had to yawn too till my jaw ache la! lol

and.. today.. sayang is meeting me! whee~ *dances*
i shall end with another sumthing too.. hehe..

Stripped of all make-up
No need for fancy Clothes
No cover ups or pushups
With him, i don't have to put on a show
He loves every wrinkle,every curve
Every thing about me
Filling me with warm and sweetness entirely
100% sweetness!
He's real
He's honest
He's mine
And
He's loving me for me

yeahh!!
oh ya, btw, to kev, thankiu sooo much!!!
i will never ever forget u.. EVER! remember
our promise?? hehehe... =)

2006-03-04T23:58:00.000+08:00

yeap.. continuation..
today marks the first month of our sweet
relationship.. and in the first month, we've
gone thru ALOT! u tink our first month
is as smooth as a baby's butt don't u? obviously
is not true.. it wasnt really a smooth start
either.. an SMS got us both upset.. esp him..
den.. even today.. erms.. sumthing happened
which made him pissed wif me too.. sorry sayang..

ya anyway.. i'm so glad he entered my life.. i
tink if he didnt, i might hav been a lesbian.. for
real lah.. i so wanted to giv up on guys.. as in i
dun trust them nimore.. thanks to some bastard lah..
lin shud noe who huh.. yeah.. well, dats the past..

and i'm in the present.. and im looking forward to
my future.. BABY knows wad i wan in my future.. only
she and Betsy knows.. hahaha.. my own fantasy..
=)
sayang&me forever&always...

hmm.. and i'm gonna mit my darling FYDA on fri.. we
gonna play ball wif d guys! yeah! so long nv meet..
miss her loads.. them too! =)

and den 22March is our public performance for MOON
PEOPLE.. then 7th April 4B gathering!! cant wait!!
miss MYS especially!! den, 10th april is the
performance for our DT graduates.. sumthing i dun
look forward to.. not cos i dun like it.. but it means
GOODBYE to my SENIORS.. i dun wan goodbye.. i wan them
to stay.. so many of them hav been there for me for so
many of my emotional, or giler moments lar.. i dun like
goodbyes......

don't go...

don't leave me...

2006-03-04T05:47:00.000+08:00

heyloo...
i attended a play by Yellow Chair productions
yesterday.. it was a very sweet and.. erms..
okay, my vocab is limited.. fill in the blank
wif any word u like.. =)
i kinda dun like certain parts of the show..
minor parts tho.. nevertheless, i luv the
storyline.. i gave my hame-wrapped roses
to those i knew.. Charlie(Yazid) and Kathy
(Hally).. the scriptwriter/director SHAIFUL
and not forgetting SiToh/ASM(Asst Stage Manager)
Tydon Banks! =)

but after dat show, do u noe dat i was pissed..
like really fucking PISSED.. no one knows right..
i took out my cam to take pics wif charlie and
kathy.. but guess wad happened? yeah.. some ppl
took wif them instead.. wif MY fucking camera
lah.. the SAME camera i "stole" from my parents'
room.. i was really fucking pissed at that moment
dat i ALMOST cried.. FUCK!!

ok.. so, yeah.. eventually, i got out of it.. thx
to IGGY AND ALONG! they're naturally funny
dat i cnt help but laugh juz hearing them talk..
thx to sayang for making the night even betterlah..
=) yeah..

he persuaded me to take the cab hm and convinced me
dat there was no more bus and that there's no other
better choice.. well, juz talking to him makes me
feel safe already.. hehe.. actually, if u all duno,
i got this fear of taking a cab.. u noe of those
cases where taxi drivers are bad ppl who'll drive u
to deserted area n den sumthing bad will happen..
yep.. i tink abt all this wen i'm in the cab.. esp
wen sayang alighted.. in addition, the driver doesnt
speak gd eng n keeps staring at me from the rear
view mirror.. sum1 kept calling him and all i cud
understand was "Paya Lebar" cos he was speaking in
some dialect i cudnt understand a fuckin word.. i
thot he was gonna abandon me sumwhere arnd paya lebar
or sumthing.. i wanted to call sayang, juz wen my
phone rang.. i thot it was my mum.. thank gawd it
was him.. yes, i was pretty paranoid.. he reassured
me dat i will be fine.. yeah, and pretty soon, i was
HOME!! it was the first time in my life dat i was
DESPERATE TO BE HOME.. see, i told u i'm
WEIRD!

hmm.. so.. yah.. that's abt it...
wad can i say.. thanks sayang.. =)

2006-02-26T16:46:00.000+08:00

weeeeee~! i'm still so high from the excitement
yesterday!! woo! thats wad i call fun!

actually yesterday, me n sayang juz plan to chill
sumwhere but we cudnt tink of where to go.. and
since totz at TM for Anugerah skrin, we went there
to support man! 6 of us there, raz,pika,me,sayang,
bul and totz.. omg we made like so much blardy noize!
after he came out of the audition rm, we clapped
and kept disturbing him.. the farny part was, he only
trembled after evrything was over.. damn weird!

den we headed to KFC for lunch where i spent 2bucks
for popcorn chicken.. yep budget.. and d drink is
the free coca cola light given out outside tm..
yes.. we all queued up for it.. SINGAPOREANS
ARE ALLOWED TO BE KIASU AND WE ARE PROUD OF IT!
ya anyways, back to KFC.. i cudnt finish it.. so i
offered the rest one by one.. u shud see BUL merajok!
wad a sight!! man! he was weird la yesterday.. but i
can see he was trying to let loose.. good on ya mate!
alot of fun in there lah.. laughter all the way..
dint noe where else to go so we end up in raz house..
i noe i've said dat i dun like going ppl's house..
but we're all there oredy.. i hav no choice.. i was
reluctant of cos.. dun believe ask sayang.. i pulled
a long face all the way till we reach his house..

his house is NICE! i got a pic of it but its in syg
hp.. den watch dis mala show "ROCK".. man i feel like
killing myself there n then! too much malay words
flooding my head at one time.. NOT GOOD! me n bul were
lyk screaming for translation n subtitles.. man i became
crazy soon after ah! like really CRAZY! posessed? maybe..
LOL.. cant take it la.. wen it finally ended i was like
"Woo Hoo!!" but den, dey all started playing
XBOX.. or is it PS? i cant remember ah.. we played this
fighting game. split into 2 grps.. me n sayang gt
separated.. he was with the lovebirds n his youngest bro..
me, totz, bul n his other bro MAC in another team..
we lost of cos.. evryone noes d reason.. ME! hahaha..
ya.. i killed syg once tho.. other tyms he kill me
tak kasi chance! MAC vent anger on the curtains
and the whole thing broke! damn strong la dat guy! lol

its abt tym we left his house.. den pika stop halfway
to take a bus straight hm.. the rest of us to int..
this part, i was touched la.. they all went to MAC to buy
milkshake n ice cream.. i kiddingly told totz i wanted
McFlurry ah.. and wen he went to order, i told him dun
buy cos i was kidding.. but he really went to order..
he n bul paid for mine.. so blardy sweet can?? i really
nv thot they wud do dat.. FOR ME! thanks guys!
u guys r soo nice! must hangout wif u guys often! more
freebies!!! lol.. hehe kidding..

the journey hm was better.. as usual me n sayang wud
sit n tok.. spend tym.. and i tell u.. hes super
duper 100% sweetness la dat guy! canot go into details
later u guys got goosebumps.. he made me soo happy
la! miss u sayang!! =)

but BUL.. IM ANGRY AT U! u punched my bf!!! his poor
arm still hurts till today!! ugh! how selfish are u?
first u tried to hold his hand, den u kept touching
his chest area.. den now u punch him.. i noe ur
intentions BUL, i noe u wan him to tink of u ah.. u
inflict pain on him so dat each tym it hurts he'll
tink of u right?? right? right?? hmph.. sampai
jantong kau bul.. nanti aku bilang steph baru tau..

2006-02-24T01:05:00.000+08:00

hey... today has been a smooth and pleasant
day.. first tym, my parents did not scream at
me for anything at all.. altho i was home the
whole friggin day, it was not so bad..

watched tv.. The hulk on CINEMAX.. i watched
Troy on HBO but not the full story..

oh ya, i forgot the highlight of my morning..
i woke up from a dream dat i had fullmarks for
INET exam and my BNT i scored like 87% so i need
not sit for supp paper!! how great is that???
i wish it was for real tho.. but some things in
the dream made me laugh.. the part when sayang
dump me because told him that she like him for
so long.. and den azhar appeared telling me n
ruby that he likes the both of us but didnt noe
who to pick.. i'm like.. HAHA RIGHT....
That is SO unreal! SO NOT POSSIBLE!
But its damn farnie lah.. stil can remember how
azhar looked like in my dream.. if i were to
take a pic, it wud be PRICELESS! lol

tmr.. is gonna b a great day.. will b going
sch to meet pika to get my belt back.. and den
meet sayang b4 heading to orchard.. i missed
him soo much!Imaginelah its been 2 days! which
is 48 hours.. 2880mins.. 172800secs.. and yea,
i used my calculator! lol

anyways i'm going to orchard meet HALLY
to pass her my belt for her play.. shes gonna
be gothic! i like!! im so jealous dat she, yazid
and shahdon got offered into outside plays..
boo hoo.. i feel so small u noe.. in DT, my acting
skills compared to the rest are like alittle
below ave.. singing? most of them CAN sing WAY
BETTER than ME!! well.. nvm lah.. i love acting
AND singing.. so, im still gonna continue no matter
wad.. and to dat certain asshole who showed me
attitude by asking " den why u come back to DT?"
juz cos i had to go off early dat nite, F-off if
u not happy ah.. all those time i stick-up for u
wen badmouths you, are a total waste! and, juz cos
u can sing very well doesn't mean u're da GREATEST!
u're not.. get a reality check man! not dat i hate u
but i hate ur stinkin attitude! apologies r too late.

wokay.. so, like my new blogskin? yeap.. simple
but i LIKE... i got sumthing to show u.. a pic that
totally matches my blogskin.. wad a coincidence!

cool eh??

so, erms.. yesterday.. i mean wednesday.. went
to sch to meet Hally to pay the ticket for her
drama.. den shahdon oso joined us for lunch..
den comes Yazid.. these i ppl, i LOVE! tok
alot of crap.. and abit of not crap.. oh ya!
along oso appeared! he tok abt his trip.. so
interesting and funny! he left us halfway to
tok to his Mamat.. we all duno who he is..
so, we went to the lib to use the comp where
Hally watches the koi video starring along,
for the very first tym! and then to the SAR
which i didnt noe wad reconstructed.. the
place is so nice dat we took photos there!
the photo above was from there.. and u shud
alredy noe who the cameraman is.. SHAHDON..

den all waited till jyuneen came back so dat
we cud hangout at techno.. me, yaz, totz, pika,
raz,mona, kay n along.. but i got called to
hangout wif the lovely ladies.. one, i do not
really noe but i like her.. shes so funny!
they're all so funny.. but so sad, tym wif
them around is abt to end.. and they are
NOT DYING.. hehe..

im gonna end this post wif wad sum1 told me
on wed evening..

"it's gone because the star went back into
the starry nightsky while the heart went into
yours.."

aww... so sweet.. alittle edited tho..
=))

2006-02-21T22:57:00.000+08:00

the official last-day in the sem for our class..
exams have ended.. now, awaiting results.. i got
a gut feeling dat im need for SUPP.. its due to
my lack of concentration and focus during the
start of the sem due to probs wif the CB and dat
horny bastard from design i shall not mention
names la hor.. giv dem abit of face..but life is
stil wonderful durin dat tym cos i hav my crazy
GFs to count on.. they made me realise, not all
guys r as AWFUL as dem.. and AWFUL is an
UNDERSTATEMENT i tell u.. so. yea.. u see, guys
who noe me, are not like that.. hopefully not lah
hor?? see, i trust u guys tau! 1st-class guys i
respect is from DT.. so far, i love them all! den,
the guys in 4B, esp RANDY darling.. one of d sweetest
.. den 06guys still not so bad lah.. and my sayang..
i dun nid to mention him la.. hes juz special.. and
again, i shall not say too mushy stuff here.. =P

hmm.. i realise dat lately.. i dream about loads of
ppl i miss.. eventho in d dream, i dun tok to them,
seeing them makes me feel happy.. the ppl includes
hally, uncle sam, along, ah zhong, randy, yusrin,
my sec sch worst enemy last but nt least, fyda...
these ppl ah... i miss alot sia....

wad else shall i tok abt.. u wan it to b depressing
like last tym? or happy happy stuff.. or abit of
both? i duno ah...

***a personal note***
you... im really really sorry.. i didnt lose it
on purpose.. i duno how and wher or wen exactly
it disappeared cos i din realise it.. it was wen
i wanted to take it off my neck den i realize its
gone... sorry.. i really didnt mean it.. i looked
for it high and low.. and i will look for it again
till i find it.. i really hope i do... it means a
lot to me like it means alot to u.. im very very
sorry.. if it makes u feel better, maybe i'll pay
u back if i really cant find it.. i'm sorry..
i really am.. im sorry once again...

2006-02-18T00:38:00.000+08:00

hey guys.. i'm backk... happy anot? not
happy nvm lah..

im back for a little update ah.. bz wif exam
preps... very very stress.. even syg oso
stress.. wen he stress, i get scared.. he luks
as if he wud eat me up if i say sumthing stupid..
after all, im STOOPID GIRL kan? heh..
anyways.. i made a new fren frm RP.. shes abt
20 ah.. but shes cool ah! we nid more STRONG
girls like her around.. she very straightfrwd
and super strong minded!! her name is LIN! hi!

anyway... vday was great... but it was d most
"paiseh" day i had.. i turned tomato-red(hally's phrase)
and almost burst into tears.. thnks to totz help ah..
i am so glad i noe him n i bumped into him dat day!
THANKS! i received sumthing i like.. wif a heart in
d middle.. told him so many tyms jgn beli.. thnk
gawd he din buy flowers for me.. altho its nice
to receive it.. i pinched or twist his fingers
each tym sum1 offered him to buy me some,
and he got scared.. his poor hand.. thanks
for d gift nevertheless.. i was surprised cos
he took it out of MY BAG! i will remember the
part wen u "korek" my bag in the middle of the
bridge all the way down the stairs.. hehe..

ok enuff of d mushy stuff.. lol.. i cnt
wait for exams to b over.. i wil go.....
.....

JAMMING!!

hey.. i oso can form a band u noe.. wen
there's a will, theres a way.. den, i oso
nid to lose some calories ah.. turning into
a sotongball oredy.. my stomach is in the 1st
stage oredy.. den gym can go mit fyda darling
or basketball wif anwar n gang..

den meet ah meii for shopping...

and of cos, more tym wif SAYANG..

oh ya... sumthing i hope u guys remember...
MY DRAMA LIFE!!

im gonna miss all those nice n sweet n
supportive ppl who helped me alot..
HALLY(awak awak..)
NAD(the one without the 'H')
KIN(*kisses*)
ALONG(lu mau apa?)
MELVO(*squawk!* the one with the 'Y')

and last but not least...
my fellow SUPREME.....
.............
RAM KUMAR KABETHA BAI *chants*

erms.. did i forget anyone?

2006-02-02T00:41:00.000+08:00

start of sch... i missed lecture at 9.. woke up @
8.30.. wth.. very bad.. den as usual, my mum force
me out of the hse.. she wans my ass in sch.. n it
was 9.45am at dat tym.. by the tym i reach sch it
was abt 10.20am.. sum ppl rushing to lt.. i thot i
shud rush to BNT lab.. but, i realised daT today
there's labtest.. n i duno wen im gonna take it but
i noe for sure, im not the first batch.. if it
starts at 11, im early.. so went cyber centre to do
some last minute touch-ups to TCS n psycho..

on de way back to engine, i met IAN.. Jeng jeng jeng
jeng!! *nudges nadiah* lols... den went to find baby..
she was making her slim extinguisher.. the fire ext
really damn thin lah... u shud hav seen it for urself
man... but its cool.. i realise dat i miss baby n
betsy's company man.. so happy to c them..

den at abt 12 met my psychology grpmembers.. i applaud
peizhen for bein early.. den xulu for makin an effort
to come.. LINCOLN, im still very angry at u.. u dint
come for our prev tut n u dint even come on d actual
day.. i thot i cud count on u in our proj.. i confidently
told alan dat u'd b presenting.. i trusted ur words u noe
... but at 1.50 wen i called n u said u juz woke up, i
really got nuthin to say... sorry for bein rude by juz
putting dwn d phone.. but u, u owe us all a fuggin
apology! u werent even sorry u dint turn up rite...
u cud hav called back n apologise or say sumthing..
i have nothing else to say.. self-explanatory..
but guess wad, we did fine without u.. if baby dint
help me, we'd b toast.. all cos of..???? ughhhh

after some stressful moments in sch, me n sweetest
hangout wif members.. at first we were behind de
"cheep shoooos" area.. den went to play cs.. 6 ppl..
me, sweetest, ruby, farej, steph n azhar.. cool..
like u guys hav guessed.. i'm usually the first to die
lah.. plus, my keyboard sucks.. i cant even move left
n right.. poor thing rite...

den abt 9.40 we left.. went home.. greeted by my smiling
mother who tinks ive lost weight.. she began touching my
waist area.. its scary i tell u.. den my dad, bought 2 new
clocks for the house.. but not the bulb for my rm!!!
goodness.. ive been doing things in d dark for weeks now..
i need the light!!

to d sweetest.. dun worry lah.. pls pls pls trust me.. i nid
ur trust.. im truly okay.. u wan me to tell u, i can tell u
but i dun wan u to get worried.. u c my nick, u oredy worried
den wen i tell u abt it how? so.. like i said, im okay.. if u
really wanna noe, i'll tell u tmr oki.. promise...
cross my heart hope to die..
sweetest..
*hugs*

2006-01-30T16:38:00.000+08:00

2nd day of chinese new yr... totally sucks!!
aaaarhh! i'm stuck at home.. can u believe it??
its been 3 days already!and suddenly im craving
for bubble tea.. strawberry iceblended... *slurps*

dat sumbody made me update altho i gt nuthin to
update abt.. heyy.. wait a minute.. i do have things
to update..

i'm back in dramatec! wees~ drama, is my first love..
i so miss ALL of them.. i mean ALL.. uncle sam, ken
watanabe, shark, uncle dangdut, Dee(she wasnt there),
viper,undertaker, rosie, emmy, jared.. and im glad to
c new faces.. PIKA & NIN.. 2 hot girls man.. u guys
gotta check them out! there's an event coming up
involving all of us.. im so excited!! i cant wait
to hit some things n do my stuff!! if u noe wad i mean..

sum1's been running thru my mind lately.. i duno how dis
happen.. but my days are now brighter wif him arnd.. i nv
thot i cud trust any guy after wad happen.. sumhow when
he came along.. wait.. he didnt juz come along.. he has
always been there.. i juz dint notice it.. yeap.. blind..
things seem pretty natural wif him.. not awkward.. not
weird.. i mean.. im weird la.. lol.. i dunno la.. i juz
like feeling when hes arnd.. =)
was wondering if he'll wait till im ready to take the
next step..

yeap..i dunno wad else to write la.. u better tag me eh..
promised.. its ur turn to write... hehe..

for now, i'm done..
i'll be back..

2006-01-25T16:45:00.000+08:00

boo!!

i'm backk....

hmmmm.... bored.. i'm in sch now.. supposed to do IFCproj
but i realise dat i hav nuthin much to do left.. as long as
the template done, admin pages, n all the server behaviours
settled, our grp shud b okay.. at least a pass..

recently, i my days r brighter n full of energy.. thanks to
the JACKETS.. woooh! ok ya.. anyway, juz to let u guys noe..
JACKETS is my class cheer team.. u shud noe the team consists
of who lah.. hehe.. and den, im in a girlband like SHE or TWINS..
we haven really decide on a name yet la but we oredy composed 2
songs... so... check us out k?? btw, the 'we' im referrin to is,
me, jane n ina... weee~

now.. my source of energy: COFFEE... actually even without coffee,
im high oredy.. haha.. cos of my new hair!!! hahaha.. i love it..
but my family hates it.. i tink evigan oso say ugly.. hmphs..
but who cares, im happy wif the auntie who cut my hair.. thanks
to my darling bezty who brought me to dat area.. i LIKE..

and my circle of frens increase by a grp of rugby ppl.. im
not kidding man..i noe quite a number of ruggers oredy..
and all of dem from the "members" club.. sumhow im also one of
the members.. we even have a PRESIDENT... i salute! lol..
cool bunch of ppl.. i like them.. haha..

frm my psycho lessons, i realise dat i really hav psychological
disorder.. it is confirmed by the look of my tutor ALAN when
he stared at me wen i was de only one laughing.. i have ADHD..
go find out urself.. hahaha.. at tyms i have schizophrenia..
clue: my name is XIAO HUA..

haha.. if u dun get it.. its ok.. cos u're not insane.. unlike
me.. lols.. i'm weird too... eh no.. i'm MAS.. lols.. ok lame..
but i learnt it frm sum1 lamer.. SEAN.. hahaha

ok... dats enuff for now.. i'll be back again wen i hav de tym..

i miss you ppl!!

*muacks*

*bigHug*

2006-01-01T18:53:00.000+08:00

boo!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR PeoPLe~!!

how's ur new yr celebration? i hope its great! for those who didnt
get a chance to go out, no worries.. cos, it's ur turn to PARTYY~
the following year.. rite hally?? my this yr's celebration is my first
and prolly the last.. my dad dun like it.. yep// so, i had fun.. n im
sure u will too in the coming yr.. hehe..

so, yesterday i had to beg my parents to go out.. as usual.. haha..
met Toomin,Weewee n Thomas at Tamp Mrt at 6pm.. thomas is
Sarah's cousin i tink..yah.. can c abit of similar features la.. he
was a little shy at first.. but after dat we all clicked really well..
oh ya.. i saw weiming.. woo.. miss him man.. hes still as thin
as ever!

ya anyway met adeline darling n her fren michelle in the train
to cityhall.. den went for dinner at soup spoon.. which sucks
and is nt filling at all.. the chickep soup doesnt taste like chick
soup at all.. the ice tea.. no taste! haha.. can c dat adel n her fren
enjoyed their 'dinner' but was not satisfied.. not filling enuff.. hehe
erms.. n i saw estrina and a guy.. her current crush i guess..
shes lucky.. spend new yr wif sum1 special.. me? i guess frens
r always a better choice wen u're down low huh.. =)

ok den we thot it wud only b the 6 of us.. didnt noe we meeting
adel's frens.. woah.. all guys cept one girl.. i tell u, i got scared!
they all looked like a gang.. scary.. but they're nice people.. funny
too.. haha.. didnt noe the party at chijmes start at 10.. so went to
coffee club first.. one of those guys paid for evrything.. darn, if i
knew dat was gonna hppen, i wud hav ordered sumthing.. lol
anyway.. toomin ordered a strawberry milkshake but wen the
waitress ask who ordered strawberry smoothie, he just claimed
its his.. as usual.. as blur as sotong.. haha.. thomas ordered vanilla
milkshake n his got icecream.. lols.. toomin jealous.. apparently
another guy ordered the smoothie n he got the milkshake instead..
haha.. damn farnie.. shud hav seen both their faces.. one was enjoyin
the ice-cream.. while toomin.. well, he craved for it.. haha..cudnt
take it so he ate sum of thomas's icecream.. dat wee wee.. it took him
abt 20mins to order sumthing.. n he ordered a hot coffee which is
very damn bitter.. haha.. he also 'suffered'.. but he did finish the whole
cup sumhow..

after dat, still got tym.. they played some pool.. sumthin not very nice
happen.. n i dun like dat ger's expression.. like wanna give her 2 tight
slap.. hee hees... no worries adel, she wun dare do anythin to u.. u kick
her, she fly to china.. lol..

den.. we sumhow got lost on the way to chijmes.. haha.. they made us
walk one round of smu b4 realising dat they duno how to go back..
haha.. den toomin, bcame the hero.. suddenly said " i know the way!"
u shud c evry1's face.. ALL lit up.. really... haha.. ok reach there, saw
weili's frens.. they're supposed to mix wif us but i guess they're anti-
socials.. and guess who i saw there? claire-jojo tan aka miss tanya!
she looks.... just like herself.. haha.. ok ok she looks HOTT!! hees
n of cos shes wif her bf.. yea.. den we juz enjoyed the music..
one of the guys bought beer for us.. which i, didnt drink.. i am
a gd ger.. like wad thomas said "haram!" haha he farnie la.. oh ya
n the gers got a little soft toy frm one of de rich guys.. so sweet huh..
eric joined us too after work..

den we went to the dance floor n danced till countdown.. EVRYONE
danced!! i was surprised.. i thot only 3 of us girls r up for it.. we were
all havin fun man! jump jump.. scream scream.. sang.. n dance all
de way.. didnt noe thomas was also a gd sport.. i tink he was de
most eager to get us all onto the middle of the dance floor.. hehe
weewee was also excited lah.. i tink he said " eh, after this we go to
the middle there ok" 3 times!! haha.. and i, cant belive i was at chijmes!!
wee~ was fun.. getting sprayed was fun too.. but i dun like the smell..
hehe.. remind me of the time i was at graduation nite.. dance till i dun
wanna go hm.. like going clubbing.. haha.. i was HIGH!!

well.. yea.. it always hav to end early for me no matter wad.. they went
for supper later while i had to go hm.. weewee, toomin n thomas accp
me to eunos mrt.. so sweet of them.. den they eat there while i go hm..
my dad fetch me hm as usual..

i really really had fun.. i really wanna thank dem for inviting me out wif
them.. for a moment, i thot im gonna spend it at hm juz like b4.. thks
to them, i wasnt lonely on new yr! Xmas alone.. bday oso alone.. it wasnt
a gd 2005i guess.. hope 2006 is a better one... i just want happiness..
thanks guys! =))

2005-12-19T18:10:00.000+08:00

i just left sumthing very important in my life.. DRAMA..
yup.. u nv thot i wud huh.. betsy was shocked.. so was i.. i was
under too much pressure.. my parents.. my studies.. everything..
i cudnt take it anymore! especially.. i made the decision rite after
a little quabble wif a fren.. sum petty stuff u wun wanna noe abt..
i was really angry at dat tym.. evryone was demanding me for things
and i was keeping up wif school work.. den dere was my 'dear'..
another problem.. now he left me..

ugh.. dat aside.. im still very darn stress.. especially now wif an
extra burden at my throat.. 2 huge ulcers.. now infection.. mite
go on for operation if it continues to swell.. mite lose voice..
if i hadnt quit drama.. it wud b embarassing.. they wud laugh..
i lost the love of my life.. my passion.. drama.. i still hadnt gotten
over it.. sumthing i so wanted to be in since pri school... now i
had to leave.. for dis freakin studies problem... now i dun even dare
meet any of the drama ppl anymore.. too embarassed.. im like
an asshole lar.. no wonder my bf left me..

thanks to martin.. lend a listening ear altho most of the time i was
crying like a baby.. now i duno wad im gona do wif my life.. an enemy
of mine has ever told me b4 " u stay in dis world for wad? stop troubling
evry1.. kill urself. end of story" well.. death has been on my mind since
end of sec2.. i hate myself.. im always troubling ppl.. why am i so needy..
i noe some ppl help cos they really care.. i noe sum help but bhind me
they dun like wad they r doing.. i miss abdullah.. if he was alive.. i noe
he wud b the one who'd stay by my side.. eventho' i nv really remb
holding him b4, i love him so damn much.. i noe he wud b my only
motivation to stay alive n do well in sch.. abdullah.. i miss you..
god bless..

i always wonder is there a hidden motive when befriending me..
for sum1 who dunno me for long.. martin definitely noes alot
abt me..he simply noes when sumthing is wrong.. thanks ah
MR BODYGUARD.. hehe..

kor.. thanks for goin out wif me dat friday.. i needed a breather..
thanks.. u n ur frens' rubbish really cheered me up.. n saturday
was a blast.. thanks jane.. really thks alot.. nice to see TC kor kor
there oso ah.. hehe.. i stil tink u shud join the mashing.. haha..
okok kidding.. dun kill me ok..

todays test is freaking easy.. but bnt totally killed me.. i dun
remember a single thing at all!!! a qn like wad is a hub i cant
even answer! frack!! ugh.. hopefully java is easier..

my mood.. is changing.. u wun even expect it.. so.. pls beware..

2005-12-13T00:25:00.000+08:00

teck chee!!!!!!

hey everyone!!! do u noe wad happen yesterday... eh no..
SATURDAY.. teck chee was supposed to wake up at 7am..
so.. i called n called n called n called.. he picked up
the phone at 12+.. so i thot hes awake oredy.. den..
even till 4pm nt a single sms or a call frm him.. den i
started calling again till i canot even reach his phone..
i thot he switched it off cos he pissed.. there i go..
worrying like an idiot.. i was outside alone.. i tok bus
here n there but stil not a single signal dat hes fine..

i was worried.. so wen i reach eunos mrt station.. i sat
down n keep calling until finally he called back.. wow
such a relief!!n dat was abt 6.50pm!! u niid like at
least 10hrs to wake him up.. wow.. anyway he wake up
later oredy so nvr meet.. end up eating dinner alone
again.. hehe

today.. he also late again,, go sch at abt 1.30 to
cos his phone spoil arh.. haha.. anyway.. nvm la..
gonna b seasoned to it soon... n now im going to slp..
tell u more abt my today soon ojkay.. in short, it is
SHIT.. lol

2005-12-10T21:55:00.001+08:00

helooo....
im back... blogger sucks... i lost 2 posts already....
hmmm... allot of things have happened... firstly, now
my classmates cant stand me.. they wanna put me in a strait
jacket.. they r happy whenever im sleepy without coffee..
once i take coffee, they will try not to b seen wif me..
cos.. i say n do stuff dat embarasses not only me but also
them lah.. hahaha.. but u noe why.. i dun wanna b seen an
emotional person... i noe u all noe i am lah.. but i dun
always wanna b seen moody sia.. as much as possible i wanna
have a smile on my face.. to be seen happy n carefree...

my darling.. always disappear.. dunno where lah.. sumtyms
like dun even care abt me.. like i dun exist.. sad sia.. but
still, i have to hang on.. i have great frens around.. i noe
they r my true frens.. all.. each n everyone of them.. i noe
i can count on them at my lowest.. or at my highest.. and
finally.. i met the mysterious no more Koo Teck Chee.. not bad
arh... hes really a darn sweet guy sia.. really.. his ex ah..
damn f***er lah.. shes so not worth it.. got dis kind of nice
guy oso dun wan.. wah lao.. stupid girl.. wasted man.. he went
thru alot of suffering all bcos of dat ungrateful girl.. poor
kor kor.. haha anyways.. yah.. hes sumwhat like me sia.. like
long lost twin.. lol.. haha... n his sister.. soo cute sia..

now arh.. wad im scared is turning bi.. yazid already thinks i
am a lesbian.. haha.. arse... anyway.. i keep lookin at girls
sia.. either dat im attracted to dem.. or.. im just damn jealous..
shit sia.. i duno how to dress up.. kor kor is right.. he say
i dress up like rojak like dat.. yah.. ugly.. damn UGLY
... can sum1 like help me? i totally cant dressup.. n abt the
makeup thing.. erm.. light one will do.. cos i dun really like
it.. HELP!

btw, last thurs gt moon ppl lunch.. c the ppl i miss!! wee!! soo
HIGH i tell you!! i miss them soo much.. theres JB.. bodyguard..
mel.. ah ma.. wei lun.. uncle bakar.. uncle jai.. mr wee.. haiya
too many to mention... the DT ppl no nid to mention cos i can see
them on fridays.. lol.. wee.. the food was nice oso lah..

boo hoo hoo.. no more workshops.. i miss them seh.. boo hoo hoo..
no movements.. boo hoo hoo... SAD

weii ppl... if got eng songs... pls send me... im desperate.. i nid songs
man.. my comp empty... aaarhh... okok gotta wait for kor kor to
call me.. soon.. i go first... byeeeeeeeeeeee

miss me okies.....
muackx
=)
>_<

2005-12-10T21:55:00.000+08:00

2005-11-20T13:39:00.000+08:00

ooh.. definitely not recovering frm my illness.. my illness:
MISSING MOON PEOPLE CAST & CREW

i really really do.. juz when the fun started.. it has to end.. no
more crazy late nights singin.. dancing.. craps n bullshitting
together.. no more taxi rides together.. no late nite last minute
shopping.. no more shouting frm director or even cat.. no more
crew screaming to take mic, mic test, return mic.. no more asking
for shuddups.. no more supply of sweets frm crew.. no more getting
toilet sprays all over me.. no more excessive glitter.. no hairdo..
no complaining of late nights..no more receiving roses.. no postcards
.. no notes.. no screaming at backstage wif WL.. no more picture
taking in costume.. no more having feathers stuck at my arm or
armpit or my top.. no more leg cramps.. noo more wearing funky
white framed glasses.. no more late night bus rides hm wif
bodyguard.. no more having to eat at techno either to break fast
or juz hav a meal.. wif the chocobo brothers.. no more free buffet
backstage.. no more jojo.. no more having nadiahstigism.. no
more crying night after night trying n trying to get into character..
no more being a fool on stage.. no more being a fool on tv.. no
more meeting the VIPs.. no more handshakes frm audiences..
no more feeling feverish or having butterflies.. no more walking
a round wif a huge jacket lookin stupid.. no more screaming arnd
like a possesed bit**.. no more being called toilet, elephant.. no
more calling cutie and hottie at people.. no more screaming out
for JB.. there r so many more things i will miss..
too many things to mention..

thanks to the make-up artists for making us look good the whole
week!! if im getting married i will sure call u all.. muahaha..

not to forget to people who came to support me.. thanks so much!
Jeremy n frens.. dramatec peeps.. fyda, egg n fatt.. and not to
forget, my classmates!! cheryl, chevy, wee wee, wei li.. wei feng,
tall adeline and weili's frens.. thanks for coming.. i really appreciate
it.. so sweet of you guys.. =D i noe betsy wanna come, but den she
dun wanna go alone rite.. nxt tym i gt performance i will invite u all
again.. so sweet!! hees~

i just miss all of you.. each n everyone of you.. if i had a chance, i
dun mind performing it over and over again..

I MISS YOU ALL SO MUCH!! I hope you guys wun forget me.. *cries*
pls say hi when u see me.. i hope to c all of you again..

photos will b up nxt wk..

*breaks down*

2005-11-15T23:22:00.000+08:00

TeDDy!! stop it!! leave me alone.. dun call, dun msg..NOTHING!
and i mean it! leave me alone!!

back to my story.. =D today is a great day! wees~ opening night for
MOON PEOPLE the MUSICAL.. shall not go into details yet till the final
show is over.. so yah.. i feel gd.. at de end of da nite, it was as if i was
high on drugs.. I STILL AM!! haha..

oh ya.. i dunno if i've said this b4 but i tink i shud remind u guys..
if u find me doing, behaving or saying sumthing unexplainable just
remember that I'M WEIRD. yah.. dun ever ask me to explain anything..
hees~

i scared myself today.. i was really weird.. like super duper weird u
noe.. like an escaped patient.. haha.. okay.. im really goin crazy...

i love MOON PEOPLE! HAHA.. ok not funny.. this includes the
dropouts like FREDDY and JEREMY!
wees~

*kisses*

2005-11-13T10:45:00.000+08:00

hee hee.. im back frm a tiring week..
goodness.. its really exhausting.. *faints*.. one more week of
torture and den im freee~!! but it was okay for me.. improvement
here n there.. but i nid more.. i nid to b in costume to b in character
i tink.. haha.. n costumes.. well.. i duno wad to say.. haha.. u'll
see it on monday..

made lotsa frens now from production crew, there's weilun n sister,
martian, toilet, the guy wif the moon ppl shirt, the brush head, my
runner, the other runner.. get disturbed one by one by the guys..
haha.. but nvm la.. it shows dat they love me? haha... i duno.. but
i dun mind.. but, juz dun go overboard la.. haha

monday im gonna take pictures n pictures man.. full-dress on
monday.. but the props.. how ah? where to get cheap sunglasses??
i hav to buy the exact one like the one kabetha has.. den cheap black
umbrellas wif the long handle..

haha.. how? i nid to buy my contact lenses also seh.. purple colour..
and i have no more money!!! dun expect me to fork out frm hari raya
lar.. later i will surely go bankrupt.. boo hoo hoo...
*sings* I NEED PROFESSIONAL HELP~! haha

2005-11-08T00:01:00.000+08:00

i hate my family. i hate u all.
why must u always stop me frm doing wad i like? how come she
can? i wanted to dance, u stop me. then i started liking netball.
after competitions, u also stop me. and now, sumthing i really
wanted.. was to hav the chance to b on stage to sing or act. why
do i hav to stop? why cant i do wad i like?

i remembered wad my mum said to my dad " see, u let ur daughter
go poly n look wad happen"

the prev time, it was macpherson sec.. now it poly..

wad do u wan me to do ma???

u wan me to be a begger?? or u wan me to be the one who collect
rubbish??

cant i hav an interest? i noe i cant sing ok! but i like to sing. if u tink
i cant act, i tink i can. altho not very good. but i can improve. and i
like acting. i like performing on stage. last time dance, netball,
followed by band.. n now acting.

abah, u say i can go singing classes. u say i can join singapore's
production for drama n stuff. u say i can do so many things! but
now??? why did u even say all those wen u noe u wun let me do it?

since u said dat next time dun nid go hm, slp in sch. i will!

2005-11-06T03:13:00.000+08:00

To everyone in the world reading this.. especially to that person..

I, Siti Mastura Binte Mohamed Aljuhari is here to apologise to a
very nice fren whom i accidentally scold him IDIOT. I am sorry for
calling you that. I will not do it again. I promise. You can call me
watever you want as long as you accept my apology. Once again
I apologise. Kisses and hugs!

take care cos i care! =)

<3, me!

P.S: Dear readers, pls dun tok abt dat person in my tagboard. Dont
ask why. Thank you.

i'm gone!

wees~

2005-11-06T00:24:00.000+08:00

drama workshop

tablo? i cant remember wad its called la..

me!(during improv)

this is 'TOM JONES' (dun ask me why) [what BIG NOSTRILS and EYES i have!!]

the 'PRETTIEST Air Stewardess' in the 'airport'

BREAK

Hally-mous

dis one? u shud noe lah..

duplicate of Ah Long

Ah BIG??

mr photographer!

*drools* LOL

PINK versus RED

Faces of the Future...

my lefty

Singapore's MOST WANTED
When approached, please call the President!

meet FREAKY WORMY bodoh!

HaLLy AunTy want to pregnant

Whiney~~

"SmeLLy" seyy!

Magus Luna

makcik in progress...

ToTz got 'vandalised' by Hana (notice the pout)

Three

Nasi without Gravy ( Abu Bakar crying for mommy)

MAG dancers

Lenny's explanation (cameraman shook.. not me okay)

Makcik Bedah say.. BODOH!!

Brain (Ain shitting) haha btw, Tipah is my Makcik Make-up artist.. and also my Makcik sifu

i forgot title of song..

Kin's piece.. forgot oso.. but very touching.. *sobs*

The Waiting.. a very deep dialogue.. sad.. *bawls*

Rhythm of innocence.. izit? ( is he smiling, laughing or crying?)

Finale Item

Hawaiian Supreme.. lols

me and marianne darling!

at home with dying flower from Magus Luna set

ROARR!!

lastly.. i miss Magus Luna...

2005-11-05T23:33:00.000+08:00

first day hari raya..

me and kakak.. wearing same colour, different bunga baju kurung

me and kakak again..

erm.. hehe

us again...

ppl say we look like twins

is it true?

what about now? lol

ladies & iman

we love him

me and dearest-abah

abah's shy-smile.. hehe

he loves me!

he still loves me..

still loving me besides the fact that i look FAT!

i LOVE him!

sis applied ffoundation n watever stuff on my face.. lookin all WHITE!

VANITY~!!

2005-11-04T15:44:00.000+08:00

i almost lost a nephew yesterday.. well, he's my one n only
nephew.. now dat he's fine.. i dun feel like tokin abt the incident..
im glad he's safe.. =)

well, i am so tired.. although went to afew houses yesterday.. i
still am tired.. and today later in the evening im going for another
round but this time wif my cousins..

hmms.. im feeling weird.. duno why.. i dun even noe wad im feeling..
its a wrong feeling.. but yet.. a nice one.. i guess.. eh, i dunno.. i
cant tell.. im in deep shyt..

anyways got my timetable oredy... mon is so tight.. ends at 7.. i am
so gonna die in sem2.. hopefully SOMEBODY still wanna treat me to
lunch.. yah.. hopefully.. and i hope i wun b alone in lectures and
tutorials.. and guess what? I MISS MAGUS LUNA! love you guys so
much..

school is starting.. am i excited? i used to be.. but now.. i dunoo..

oh ya, happy birthday teddy! and please, get a girlfren.. dun
bother me animore.. pls.. just go

eh ya, one more thing.. i found a pink rose outside my house door
dis morning.. there's just a small paper wif my name on it.. its a
scrap paper.. bad condition.. anyway was wondering who gave me
the rose.. so sweet.. n its so pretty.. i'll show you a pic of it.. soon

2005-11-03T00:23:00.000+08:00

hari raya is here..
and i am so darn exhausted.. i dun really feel the celebration like
i used to.. i used to jumpy and all excited for hari raya.. but now
im so calm.. which is so not right.. chores keep piling up too.. isnt
it supposed to reduce by this time?? and my rm.. i duno wad to do
oredy.. im too lazy to make it spotless and nice..

i miss abdullah.. how i wish he was here.. he cud lighten my work-
load.. he wud definitely brighten my days.. and he wud be a cam
whore juz like me.. hehe.. i always wanted a younger brother.. i
wud wanna bring him out.. shopping.. arcade.. take pictures.. or
juz hanging out wud b fine..

reminds me of nazmi and sufri.. the little bros i always wanted..
cheeky, adorable but very sweet.. but they got older, went their
separate ways.. and i moved on..

ive also always wanted an abang.. juz like eddric.. he's still here..
support me in every way.. =).. a bro who cares no matter where
they are.. a bro i noe i can trust or rely on.. a bro who'll stay by
ur side thru ups n downs.. a bro whos tough and wud stand up
for me..

and i am still searching for frens.. im wondering why ppl i call
frens are always changing.. e.g one day my frens r mary, joan
n julie.. soon, they dun seem to exist n i have frens called june
lily n reina.. thats juz an example to show wad i mean by change
do they even regard me as a fren ever? i dont know.. sec sch frens..
where r u? all those promises? wad frens forever? i noe forever
doesnt mean anything.. but u said we'll always be frens.. wad
happen to that promise? my roses to all of you.. does it mean
anything? my cards? chocolates? isn't it all enuff? wad more do
i have to give or do?

am i that ugly that when u see me u must ignore my presence?
what is wrong with me??

is it wrong for me to want some attention? is it wrong for me
to wan to be loved? i just need sum1.. just sum1 to like me for
who i am.. sum1 who'll stay by my side.. sum1 who'll be there..
and i noe, theres no such person..

selamat hari raya.. forgive all my wrong doings.. i apologise
for watever mistakes i've done..

2005-11-01T23:43:00.000+08:00

heys..
i'm here.. at hm.. whole day.. bake abt 5 keks.. so u guys better
come my house during hari raya.. very nice wan.. u wun regret it!
house almost ready for hari raya.. almost lar.. hehehe.. my room
still in progress..

well.. the DT peeps r out.. celebrating.. success of Magus Luna and
and Deepa-raya or sumthing.. too bad i cant go.. i am so gonna
miss out on the fun.. surely lots of photos also.. haix.. juz my luck..

nvm la.. at least gt ppl sms me n keep me company.. hehe.. duno
why im so emotional nowadays.. but usually happy.. cos.. haha.. nvm
dun wanna say lah.. next time..

anyways, sch is starting next wk.. kinda cant wait to meet my classmates
and also the moon ppl peeps.. hehehe.. altho its gonna be tiring, it will
surely be a fun experience with my new found frens! NO DOUBT!!

well.. i hope the DT members enjoy their day.. which i noe they will...
hahas.. everyone.. happy deepa-raya!! hehehe

love you guys! spread the love!

<3, me! =)

2005-10-31T11:41:00.000+08:00

engine skit(hairstylist:June Huang)

bustop

engine sch outside Lt34

study area
raisin and me

Audi2
he tinks he's cute.. so, this is JARED

Wen Long and me

see an extra hand at de back of my head? dats raisin's!

2005-10-31T11:36:00.000+08:00

i feel lyk shyt

i feel really dumb

i feel so very useless

i wrote sumthing abt sum1 yest.. but i ended tearing it up..
dun ask me why.. i juz feel like a fool

if only ppl cared.. if only my frens care.. if only he cares..
ah.. thats not gonna happen.. impossible

time's running up.. soon i'll be gone.. forever..

2005-10-30T17:08:00.000+08:00

still in a state of Magus Luna shock.. i miss them so much.. naddy, hally,
donny, fadzley, yazid-y? lols organiser is also not forgotten.. rite ah long?
hehe..i really wish we cud hav another round of this.. altho the process
was kinda stressful, it was worth it.. all the tears, laughters, grumbles,
whines and wadever shyt.. i really wanna tank all u ppl who help me wif
my piece.. not forgetting serena.. =) and also, wen long, marianne,
razieeeeee haha.. thanks alot for coming... i really really appreciate it
altho its only the 3 of u.. and altho i knew u guys like only for a few
months or even few weeks... im glad dat i know u guys!! ah! love u
guys so much!! kisses kisses kisses.. and thx for the lollies sweetie!

now.. im like so tired.. drained.. but happy.. actually mixed of emos..
tink of this that, her, him them.. everybody.. haiyo.. lucky exams r
over.. but still semester is starting soon.. sheetos.. im lookin forward
to my free lunch wif SOMEBODY.. muahahas.. more lollies.. maybe..
haha.. n more events like magus..

did i say im having mixed emo? yah i guess i did.. well.. duno wad to
do cept shut myself out frm it.. hehehe.. hari raya is coming!! gonna
be oh-so-bz!!

2005-10-30T00:37:00.000+08:00

today.. magus luna.. my first monologue.. ever.. im glad sum ppl
liked it! =) glad i shared it with the most wonderful DT seniors..
u noe who u r.. and some cekik darah one, they duno who they are..
haha.. n newfound frens who came to support our event.. i am so
happy they r part n pieces of the puzzle of my day.. but there's still
parts missing..

my family

my friends

where r they.. well, cant blame them if they're bz rite?

nvm.. life's goin on.. thx to the lollies by a sweetie.. haha!

2005-10-29T02:07:00.000+08:00

Busok seh!! BODOH!

haha.. word of the day: bodoh. haha.. why? serena taught us..
actually, asked me to say it la.. for tmr.. my performance.. so nervous
yet so excited!! hehe.. quite confident la.. but kinda pissed wif sum1
whole day. but den slowly subsided cos i have to don care. if not, i'll
explode..

training was fun n great.. as usual.. haha.. jia wen stil din turn up..
buka at marrybrown.. fadz muke cram lagik.. hehe so scary seh..
but hes right la, we wait for the food so long seh..

argue wif ted again.. oso as usual.. haha.. but i dun care la.. cos hes
a bitch.. whoops.. haha.. watever la.. who cares..

summary: today was fun but quite tiring ah.. =p GREAT DAY darlings!
cept for sum1 who totally spoil my mood.. haha.. n tanks to raisin for
nvr stop makin me laugh.. merepek seh he.. wat? rockism?? lol

watever.. im happy i didnt cry.. which i almost did.. again.. sheetos..
ya.. so.. wish me luck ppl!!!!!!!

Photobucket

2005-10-28T01:07:00.000+08:00

This is a test post from Photobucket.com

2005-10-28T00:20:00.000+08:00

some photos i took earlier wif my new lumix cam

days b4 the actual skit performance..

the cast on the full dress day!

June darling

us and marianne

tong howe dun go!!

got him! haha.. dat's better.. btw, dats suriya at de back

me and the lead Jeremy! (his eyes disappeared) btw, dats bong's fingers!!

2005-10-27T23:32:00.000+08:00

uh-oh.. the smell is back.. jared.. aaah~! going crrazzy~!!
note to self: dun get too close to jared! the smell is so addictive..
oh no.. i hav to stop smelling my palms.. hahaha

okay.. ive gotten over my emotional outburst oredy i tink.. i hope..
all thanks to raisin's rubbish from morning all the way to maghrib..
after dat, i had to do my humpty dumpty alone.. so scary u noe!
haha.. but wen loong said i did great!! yayness! =p today took
quite alot of photos.. muahahaha.. mostly my face lar.. hehe..

apologies to Ian for not able to go back wif him tonite.. u might
hav to wait quite long for me to b able to take the train wif u..
now kinda busy with all this performance.. sorry.. hehe..

i dunno why, but i really feel beautiful today.. okay, maybe not
so beautiful.. but i feel i look good.. hehe.. now, my attention
will be towards my monologue.. i wan it to be super great on
saturday.. n Kay juz gave me a gd idea for my make-up.. haha

aaah.. i still can smell jared!!!! goodness.. i want more... MORE!!
haha.. im outta my mind! aiyah.. i HAVE to calm down.. if not,
tmr surely emo again ah.. haiya.. my life no end.. up n down..
like see-saw like dat..

and i got sumthing to say to dat certain sum1 : u got problem
wif me ah? why? eventho i juz got to noe them, at least i noe i
can count on them to cheer me up, to hype myself up, to have
FUN! moon people casts just rock okay! and since u're NOT
even frm TP, juz shuddup, buzz off and LET ME BE FREE (sings
like the waiters) MUAHAHA!

i feel so evil.. but i dun care.. the person deserves it!! =p

2005-10-26T23:59:00.000+08:00

maybe im oversensitive.. maybe im just paranoid.. i wan attention..
maybe from him.. maybe from her.. but mostly from them.. why..

i dunno why.. they came to hers.. with video cam.. yes, of cos they
came to mine.. but.. late.. missed my part.. my solo.. the solo dat
i practised night n day.. to show them im gd.. to show them dat i
too have talent.. i played.. n waited.. when its over, then they arrive..
i was on the verge of tears.. not of happiness.. but disappointment..
i wanted to just throw the flute.. but its not mine.. i cudnt.. i hide it
all.. when i reach hm dat evening, i cried.. i just dun get it..

syf.. important day for me.. cant even practice at hm.. den also end up
having cert of participation.. i cried.. they dun understand.. i cant share
my feelings wif dem.. dey said i have other chances.. why.. is it me?
arent i gd enuff? den dis yr my juniors got a silver.. so proud of dem..
i was happy.. n proud.. n i cudnt share it wif them either.. i remembered
hearing sumthing in the lines of " but it wasnt u playing" sumthing like
dat.. i was hurt.. but ya, maybe they were right..

dis yr.. join drama in tp.. got audition which i bothered to "practice"
at home.. i was scared.. they said" alah.. its only audition".. same
for moon ppl.. no excitement.. they rnot even coming to watch any
of my performances.. ever.. one thing i noe they got excited abt..
my results.. promised me so many things.. but till now.. nothing..
promises evaporated as the time flies.. life is back.. on her side..
the smart one.. the talented one.. the favourite one.. the ONLY one..

i wan to cry but i cant.. n i shudnt.. i have 2 performance cuming
up.. both important.. n both very difficult.. im stress.. n i noe im nt
the only one.. but still.. i seriously need help.. but who can help?
the problem is me... who can solve me? nowadays i dun eeven noe
who i am anymore.. mastura.. the worm.. is lost.. where is she..
did anyone see her.. cana nyone help me find her? cos i cant..

my time is running up.. the clock is ticking.. n soon.. i'll be gone
too.. just like her.. drowned by her problems.. before you know
it, i would vanish.. no one will notice my disappearance.. its just
a matter of time.. den i'll be free.. just like him..

2005-10-25T23:38:00.000+08:00

wees~~ so high!!

u noe, i tink i noe why i so high. all becos of mr jared. okay, let me
tell u the whole story.. yesterday rite, i got engineering wk performance
which i performed a skit. so we had to do face painting n weird hairstyle
so we all smell of face paint n hairspray which smells a little disgusting..
den ah.. dat jared ah.. go n k-po ah.. spray spray his deodorant at us u
noe! i smell so manly.. n i tell u, the smell is so so strong..

den after dat, after peformance, he hung out wif us b4 the moon ppl
rehearsal.. so he was wif us at our "dressing rm".. tok rubbish.. den
as usual.. his weapon.. the deodorant.. spray spray again.. at me.. alot
u noe! goodness..the whole day, i smell him!! i hate it u noe.. but after
dat, duno why it smells very.. nice.. eh no, dats not the word.. smells
like.. love? i dunno.. haiya.. bcos of dat, canot forget him i tell u! pls,
dun get me wrong.. im not in love wif him la.. i just love his VOICE..
*melts* haha..

anyway, our performance was GREAT!! all the VIPs n the other poly's
principals praise us sey.. shake hand wif us sumore! i feel like a
celebrity!! hehehe

den today while waiting for rehearsal, i was lying down on my bag n i
smell him!! goodness.. den i miss him sey.. awwww~ hahaha.. ya la
his fault sey.. hahaha enuff of him..

so today, i forgot abt my training n rehearsals.. basically i lost track
of the time n day n date n all.. sad.. i forgot i got training course for
drama.. n i had elvin n syahid in tp waiting for me.. sho sad ah..
edwin supposed to meet us but he woke up late dat idiot.. hmph!

after dat, rehearsal.. stressful sey.. moon ppl.. after dat, magus luna..
i duno wad to tink abt myself being a supreme.. i tink i dun fit in.. mr
sonny wans me to b like kay.. but how.. im me.. difficult.. i need time
n i need to practice wif dem.. but they got sip ah.. difficult..=(
haix.. i need a breather.. i need professional help!

PIECE OF MY MIND:
teddy. stop calling me. i wun answer. stop it la. stop acting so
caring suddenly. its annoying. over concerned. gave u the chance
but its gone now. too bad. and, dun come tp. if i see any sign of u
again, i will really make sure that the guards lock u out instead of in.
yes, leave me alone. get the picture? i want out. =)

2005-10-23T22:40:00.000+08:00

haix.. so sad.. i like totally miss my rehearsal session yesterday.. it
was torturous lah at hm.. as usual.. but dis time, much worse.. i
really become "Tuti".. mum will go.. " eh, pls sweep the kitchen floor
abit messy today" after awhile.. " u go masak nasi"(cook rice).. den
after dat my nephew screamed" cik mas i wan milk!!" den wen i dint
respond he screamed again " make for me M-I-L-K!" yes he spelt it
out. such an annoying brat.. after dat, dad came hm n i had to sweep
the living rm area, den clean my room, yadda yadda yadda..

after dat, came my biggest task. mum" after u finish all quickly go n
'filter' the flour n go make ur kuih tart, rub in method" i stared at her
for like 10secs after she said dat method. den she laughed n demons-
trated it by using her fingers.. haiya.. such a complicated n tiring
method of mixing flour n the margarine or butter or wadever..

omg i was like so busy dat i only started studying for exams at 11..
slept at abt 4.30, woke up at 7. was almost late for exams.. but i
realised dat my other classmates r much later..we're like the slackest
sec4 there.. wen lessons start at 7.45, we stroll in at 8.30.. exams start
at 8.30 just now cos my class came after 8.. the other classes were like
so quiet doing exams cept for our kecoh class.. lol

i am so gonna miss them after exams r over.. like totally! best bunch of
peeps who stick by u wen u're sad or angry or watever. wen sumthin
happen between us, sumhow we became ok after dat n closer to each
other.. we so love each other so darn much dat we dun wanna part altho
we only meet once a wk.. we r dat close.. how i wish i hav like frens like
them.. as in really..

okay.. after exam went to meet syahid n quincy.. oh my goodness.. he
looks so much cuter now.. oops! no not cute.. adorable!! c\felt like
pinching his cheeks.. i tink he now tinks im weird cos i kept staring
at him.. especially his blue eyes.. goodness.. very sweet looking i tell u!
but den if he is taller, i bet so many more girls will fall for him.. im so
excited to noe who his future gf will look like.. duno why.. hes like a
little bro i ever wanted but hes so much more adorable but so garang.
n he is super damn intelligent la.. 9pts still go poly.. smart ass..

cant help it! he has dimples! hes sooo adorable!! i got his pic!! ahaha!!
but he claims it looks ugly.. lol.. he's in my wall paper!! hahahaha..
quincy u're so gonna hate me if i post it here.. which i wont.. lol
and u, dun grow ur hair too long.. will look gay okay!! =)

hehehe.. QUINCY is so TOTALLY ADORABLE!!
AAaahhH~

2005-10-23T22:26:00.001+08:00

2005-10-23T22:26:00.000+08:00

2005-10-20T23:53:00.000+08:00

yozzy..

yes yes.. i lost my recent entry... irrtating seh.. dis teach me a lesson
NOT to type an entry in school library.. ugh.. waste my energy n brain
juice to tink of wad to type.. anyways.. i typed abt the FUN workshop i
attended n now im lazy to share wif u all.. haha.. and about how i became
mentally and physically sick of my life.. i mean.. im so busy now.. i seriously
need a break from everything lah.. but.. wad to do.. im a busy woman.. haha

today.. went to esplanade library.. had to pass the citylink mall right.. i came
across a shoe shop for ladies.. when i look inside, i saw a guy staring at his
reflection in the full-length mirror n making "cute" faces.. oh my goodness..
such an ugly sight i tell u.. den there's also one guy dunno y he's just standing
right infront of the escalator one arm at his waist while staring straight ahead..
hahas.. weird man..

today.. did the supreme moves.. so cute.. n fun.. n funny.. haha.. not bad for our
last minute chereograpy.. hehes.. well im tired now... BYE~!!

2005-10-15T17:20:00.000+08:00

haloo... im back..
gosh i just realised dat im really really damn busy these days.. thank gawd
im not working.. 3 rehearsals i tell you.. all so heavy.. gosh.. 1. Engineering
Week Skit (24th Oct) eeeks!! 2. Magus Luna(29th Oct) YiKes~!! 3. Moon
People (15, 16, 17, 18 Nov) oh my gosshh!!!
AND, i have to see Mr Sonny during the rehearsals at least twice a week!!
i am so the very scared of him.. he everytime scold me.. =(.. aiyah, not me
only, but i got double the scolding(2 rehearsals wif him!!)

for the skit, he tinks dat im too soft-spoken? too shy?? yah.. well, its my
first performance which is soo serious! how not to be scared u tell me??
i can overcome it.. i need time.. no worries Mr Sonny, i will give you a good
show! =)

Magus Luna, monologue!! aah!! solo performance!! makcik performance!! ugh!
i cant do it.. i dunno if i can pull it off by the time i hav to perform.. halimah tried
to help.. but duno why i still suck!! ugh!! plus, i dun tink i am funny in the monologue
either!! haix.. too depressing.. wad shud i wear??? SHIT

Moon People.. not much.. cept now im the standby supremes.. i practised like hell
everyday n i kinda lost my voice now.. oops! haix.. i gotta try harder to reach the high
notes.. nvm.. more practice will do..

dats all the complains i have.. other than that, i love edwin, syahid, winson, suzen, alice
and also fyda!! they made my day!! =))

Loving you people.. ALWAYS..

p.s winson, u're supposed to gimme an autographed photo of u for being an actor!!
i'm ur biggest fan!! a signature on my butt remember! hehes..=p

2005-10-10T23:17:00.000+08:00

hi.. im back with an entry..

okay.. u noe.. i always wanted a job rite? for money rite? well.. i
DONT hav a job but i earned 50bucks today.. earned in like 5-10 mins..
okay la.. i admit.. i feel very cheap and prostitute-y.. its not dat i sell my
body.. just dat dis guy pays me for helping him.. its just a favour.. he
charge abt 50bucks an hour.. but, he was so sweet, he paid me in advance
and i only helped him a few mins.. but i realise sumthing, i dun like him..
he doesnt smile.. AT ALL.. not even a stifle of laugh.. he always hold a
straight face and he likes saying "why?" kind of annoying.. and he also
asks obvious stupid question which no girl would ever wana answer..

it feels great earning it.. but after dat.. i thot i cud stay in contact wif him
but he gave me a stern" we shudnt contact anymore".. ugh..no appreciation
at all! not even a word of thanks!! im the one who always thank him!! ugh!
his name is ERIC TAN.. im so pissed i wish he die soon!

rehearsal today.. sad.. im not in the "SUE HIM" scene.. dat wan soo fun..
im not in ALOT of scenes.. n im disappointed.. i hope.. i hope tmr wud b
a better day

2005-10-05T23:36:00.000+08:00

MICKEY(bitch)

dis is us and dat stupid monkey MICKEY

breakfast frm MUS

me and MR Rice

hmms.. seducing??lols

3 of us girls..

extra pics for fun.. lols

2005-10-05T12:00:00.001+08:00

2005-10-05T12:00:00.000+08:00

hello helo.. i'm back!

the first day of the fasting month... i still feel energetic.. hehehes..
never update for a few days huh.. yar.. dun feel like.. abit lazy la..
start from saturday ar..

ok.. saturday.. go for drma meeting abt Magus Luna.. i've decided to
do abt sum1 who hates monologues.. hahas.. oh ya, anyway, they were
late la.. as usual.. hahas.. kay was not in a very gd mood halfway cos
her friggin crew members decided not to turn up.. except good ol'
nicol.. yar.. when he came.. everyone applauded lols.. armin also came
la.. he was so darn funny.. hahahas.. oh ya, n did i tell u dat me n
hally wore the same tshirt.. we decided it la of cos.. hahas.. end up we
didnt take any pic on dat day.. yah.. sadded..

after dat, met teddy den went to watch dark water at marina.. watch
already la.. but.. since it was so-called a free movie, just watch lar..
but shud hav watch dukes of the hazzard instead.. wasted..
sorry teddy..

den sunday.. madrasah.. after dat fyda came.. used the comp.. miss her
soo damn much man!! she still so darn pretty!! jealous.. hahas.. den she
went to meet her ekhsan.. hahas.. adn i went to meet teddy.. ahha..
we went bedok to watch red shoes.. sucks!!! scared the hell outta me..
and i dun even understand the storyline.. oh, dun take any advice frm sum1
who only watch 40% of the show.. hahahas..

monday.. my one n only favorite monday.. 03102005!! whees!! hehehe..
ok.. i was supposed to meet them at 9.30.. i woke up at 8.. only had abt
half an hour to get ready.. i cant.. so, i quickly bathe n get changed.. den
i went to fry the eggs for the sandwich four our lunch.. ya..den i told dem
i wud meet them at 10.30.. but i only done wif everything at 10.. damn
im late.. lols.. so quickly took a train frm eunos to outram park.. den
halfway.. mus called"hello mastura.. where are u?" den we both heard
"Kallang.." aah! shit.. the truth is exposed.. lols.. right timing huh..
but anyway.. i reach at abt 10.55.. not bad eh.. yah.. rushed for the bus
at harbourfront n den we made our way to SENTOSA! whees!!

it was so fun lar.. we reach there.. i ate my so-called breakfast mus
boought frm mac.. den sat under the shade at the beach for awhile,
enjoy the breeze.. n scenery.. n basically just crap.. hahas.. den i saw
a pink box in feli's bag.. it looked like a pregnancy test kit.. i dint noe
whos bag it was la... so, i asked loudly.. " whos is dat? pregnancy test
kit??" den feli said" dats mine n dats our snack!!" den she turned it over
hahas.. its some kind of tart.. hahas.. duh.. everyone laughed at ME..
asses.. how wud i noe rite..

after dat went to for siloso.. they r so sweet dat they paid for me my
entrance fee.. so embarassing la to tell dem i only got 2 bucks.. but
they were all so sweet.. hehes.. kisses for all! muacks!!!
the fun started there la.. its like a museum la so called.. theres displays
n all.. tok abt history of singapore.. learnt japanese words like henji,
yofuku and yunosay(i tink dats how dis is spelt).. means answer, clothes
and shuddup.. hahas.. so i went on shouting" henji! henji me!!" lols..
micah made fun of it la.. not surprising.. hahahas.. everyone was like
saying those jap words.. n lih kang, the one who noes jap was irritated
by it cos he kept saying dats not how its pronounced.. den micah kept
saying yunosay to me.. hahas.. it sounded more like "you dont say!" at
first.. den after lih kang repeatedly told him how to pronounce it.. it
then sounded like " you no say!!" hahas.. we can never get it right..

oh ya.. i forgot to say dat i almost got bitten my a monkey named
mickey or sumthing when we were gonna take a picture wif it..
stupid monkey.. but it was nice to mei yun.. hmphs.. i noe she
pretty la.. i ugly can.. hahahas..

den after dat, we went to funnan to see micah buy his PSP.. hahas..
i was like an alien there la.. not familiar wif most of the stuff.. those
electronics thingy.. like fire wire.. n wadsoever..so whenever i stopped
to look one of them wud say, dis is the... watever.. hahas.. den left for
hm lar.. hahas..

and tuesday. nothing!! i was at hm.. doin friggin nothing lar..
today also.. nothing to do.. hahas.. ok ah..

byee!! love all of u!

2005-09-30T23:57:00.000+08:00

muahahahas.. so happy today.. lucky got ppl pei wo zhu qu.. is dat
how u say it? hahas.. wadever lah.. ppl accp me out for dinner.. n nope
its not teddy.. betsy.. yup she smsed me.. and where else did we dine
other than parkway parade Banquet.. we forever eat there sia.. hahahas..
n wad did we order? as usual.. the oyster omelette is a must.. so, we
ordered one plate of that to share.. n our own dish each.. hahas.. yup..
always 3 diff stuff on our table.. hahas.. ya..u shud see the look on the
people around us.. hahahs.. end up, im like the dustbin finishing the left
over.. hahas..

den later, we go walk to ISETAN n visit Ina.. hahas.. so farnie.. we kinda
have to bend to look for her.. since shes so small rite.. hehehes.. we were
like disturbing her here n there la.. she like postman.. deliver clothes to
diff 'stores' within ISETAN.. n she made me the coolie.. u noe wads dat?
u noe in those olden days.. those ppl who carry stuff frm one place to
another? yup.. dat was my job.. i was holding the clothes for her...
tagging along while she return the stuff.. hahahas...

den we left her ah.. hahahas... den walk walk.. was abt to leave den i forgot
visit one more shop.. hahas.. a place where there r accessories for me to
change my image.. hahas.. den walk back in.. on the way in, we saw this
person givin paperbags to ppl.. i was like saying.. maybe inside dat bag
there r body parts of another maid.. cos the person givin it out really looks
like a maid.. reminds me of the murder case thingy.. yah.. the hands n legs..
so we just went in parkway again.. we saw this auntie carrying dat bag.. she
has been holdin it since she went in n not once did she look inside the bag!
so i shouted " auntie !! inside got leg la !!" "ey auntie!! got leg got leg!!"
hahas.. so farnie.. got this lady just stared at me.. but the auntie didnt even
turn once.. haix.. these old ppl.. easily tricked.. so poor thing.. hahas

well.. thats it lah.. im like so desperate to change my hairstyle altho i just
went to cut it yesterday.. haiyo.. so ma fan rite me.. hahas..

ok.. leaving now ! excited abt tmr's meeting !! whees !! =))
sweet dreams ppl !! =))

2005-09-30T16:45:00.000+08:00

i wrote sumore stuff.. but i lost my touch.. so it isnt as good as
the one before.. to make it short, its awful.. hahas..

time stood still
when i started my will
for u had left me here
all alone, all in tears

my princess, u used to call me
but till now, u didnt even call me
i nvr thot this wud ever happen
when my feelings started to deepen..

my friends said he wasnt worth it
cos he took my heart and broke it
i stood up for him n made him shine brighter
but my heart knew dat things wont get any better

i like the way he used to tok to me
and the way he just looked at me
his smile is always a healer
or is he just the greatest actor?

the actor who made me fall
and rise again just to answer his call
a fool of love he must have made me
but till now, i noe he'll never date me

the pain i feel deep inside
cannot be described
it shows in the number of times i cried
cos i noe, i cudnt stand up in pride

is there anyone who could help me?
for he has broken my heart or
in a way, even stabbed me..

such pain.. ouch.. so how?? some verses abit weird la..
cos i noe, i tink it dint make sense? hahas.. yah, mine isnt
dat great.. u shud see my fren's.. fawze.. he's great in all
these rhymes n stuff.. he writes songs too.. yah.. lots of 'em..
powerful rite.. yah.. im going out later.. duno where la.. but yah
alone again of cos.. i miss de times we go out.. me, him n him..
forever pool.. hahas.. long time.. but yah.. its okay.. i ruined
everything anyway.. so yah.. frens.. exist in my life.. i dun tink
i existed in theirs.. well.. enuff of the depressing stuff la..

im happy.. im gonna get myself back.. the quiet.. the happy one..
smiling always.. quiet, maybe difficult la.. but im working on my
smiles.. hahas.. yah.. i vow to be a cam-whore forever.. even if it
means being alone.. yah.. nothing can stop me man.. i miss baldie
n shawny.. shawny is hardly online.. n i dun dare tok to baldie.. i guess
hes still upset.. and izzy? he has been online "enlightening" me all the
while! hahas.. yap.. great company.. dats why i like myself online better..
no more unhappiness.. n if people r fake? i wudnt noe rite.. if it makes
me happy.. den i shud just do with it..

tmr.. meeting.. looking forward.. i miss dramatec.. when r we gonna have
anymore sessions or camps? or even cam-whoring !! hahas.. ok.. time
for me to sembahyang asar.. den im leaving...

take care now, bubbye then !!
hugs&kisses to all u readers !

I LOVE YOU !!

2005-09-27T23:45:00.000+08:00

standing there staring
   staring at the one and only thing
   the one who used to smile..
   at me

   you, the perfect one
   the one who brought me joy..
   the joy which brought me smiles..
   the smiles i couldnt wipe off..
   until she came along..

now.. why? why?
   why must she appear?
   at the moment when my world came together
   when my world was somehow completed

i hate her !
   the one who crushed my life altogether
   the one who captured many hearts
except this one

and now.. my one.. my sweet one..
he never smiled at me no more
   not like the way he used to
   no more secret stares from him anymore
   because she !

Gone.. it's all gone
   my hopes
   my dreams
   my everything
   crashed down to the ground

   i thot he wud keep his eyes on me
   oh yes, that sweet one, yes he did
   he kept his eyes on every one
   every one who tried to get between he and she

   so now im down
   7feet underground
   all because of the one
   who broke my heart into pieces
   pieces which will never form again
   until that one sit & stare at me in pain

this was something i wrote yesterday evening.. i think at abt
8pm or so.. yah.. my sis was using the comp.. so, i went to my
room.. i wanted to call sum1.. but, i didnt noe who to call..
i didnt noe wad to do.. i didnt noe who to sms.. at dat moment
i kinda felt lonely.. actually not only dat moment la.. lotsa times..
but yah.. den i saw alot of papers n a pen.. so, i thot of writing
lyrics for songs i hear on radio.. but den.. i duno why.. i just wrote
a random line.. then.. i just wrote n wrote n wrote n wrote..
and.. there it is..

and u noe wad i dreamt of? my class had this trip to some hotel..
with our family all along.. so yah.. the ballroom was ours.. n we
had some kind of pageant for us females.. i mean me n my classmates..
guess who won? me.. haha.. den afterdat some terrorist somehow
invaded that area.. kept us captive.. den sumhow they decided to
let us go.. but on one condition.. we were to point to sum1 or sumthin
to shoot at, instead of us.. i pointed to the lights.. some pointed to
the wrong direction so, some people got shot.. n my grandmother
known to have a bladder prob.. she accidentally peed all over the
place cos she was so scared.. they wanted to shoot her.. but she ran
n she was damn fast.. they ran after her but was stoppped by my
grandfather.. he said to take him instead.. so they dragged him.. but
den my dad den appeared n told them to take him instead.. den i
was like.. oh gosh.. no way.. they dragged him into the rm where
we can hear him get beaten up.. den we all heard a gunshot..
i cried.. i was bawling.. i was holding iman too.. he too cried.. he
sensed sumthin was wrong.. i was scared.. i was sad.. i was angry..
i wanted to run to them n make them shoot me as well.. i LOVE my
dad!! but then.. the door to the rm opened.. n my dad ran out..
he shouted.. go out now.. now.. b4 they start lookin for ppl to
shoot.. no time for talk.. so we all just ran.. den i woke up.. i was
sweating.. my wholebody.. my face.. was wet.. not of sweat.. but..
tears.. i really did cry.. i just screamed for my dad.. my dad replied
from downstairs.. i cried n told him wad happen.. n u noe wad he did?
he laughed.. den he said, actually i was shot just now.. den i was like
huh?? he said " by ur mum's powerful weapon.." den me n my dad
said at the same time " her kentot ah" hahahas.. farnie.. i felt better..
i was relieved.. i wonder.. wad if, dat thing really happen.. maybe,
i'd kill myself..

okay.. well.. today.. woke up abt 11.. yup.. mum nag all the way
from my breakfast until after lunch.. yah.. imagine that.. well..
after dat.. abt 3 actually wanted to go datok's house.. but den too
late cos i was supposed to meet hally at 3.30 at cityhall..
well.. actually, i realised i shudnt have rushed.. cos i reach ther abt
3.20pm.. well waited till 3.30.. and guess wad? she still hasnt arrived
yet.. hahahas.. ya lah.. im not angry or anything.. its funny actually..
cos when she reach, we were so-called argued abt me being too early
while i said she was late.. well, she was.. and the time agreed was 3.30
rite? i rest my case. muahahas.. hahas.. no worries la, im not angry..

actually it was quite an interesting wait.. so many tourists tok to me..
some are old.. some are like in their early 20s.. one was hilarious..
dis particular negro.. he first asked me how to get to jurong east or
sumthing.. so, yah.. told him n all.. den barely even one minute after
he disappeared from my sight, he appeared again.. he told me "er..
miss.. i'm going to the loo" so, i was tinking, why is he telling me
he wanna go? just go la, i dun even care.. hahas.. i just smiled cos i
didnt noe he WANTED TO KNOW where the loo was.. he kinda smiled
back but still stood there as if waiting for sumthing.. then i realised
he didnt noe where.. hahas.. im such a silly ass..so, i told him where
la.. he even asked if he was to pay to go in.. so i said i dun tink so..
i had to also make sure he has 10cents in case he really had to pay for
it.. hahas so farnie..

so ok.. me n hally went to the esplanade library.. look for my stuff.. den
we went to the rooftop.. nice view.. my first time up there.. but i dun really
like it there.. when i came up.. on my right i saw a couple taking wedding
photos.. so cool la.. hally wanna do dat when its her turn to be married..
hahas.. dat part was ok.. we see couples enjoying the view.. n other ppl
taking photos.. den walked to the left.. walk abit only saw a couple smooching
den im like.. hiyah.. get a rm la.. i tink they need it.. walk a little more..
another couple making out.. wearing uniform sumore.. but they left awhile
later anyways.. hahas.. yah.. we took their spot n use it for our 'photo
taking' area.. hahas.. ya, our pics r abit boring la.. cos shahdon is not the
cameraman.. hahas..

den we walked to the back.. was so happy cos can take more photos.. dat
area also quite shady.. was so excited dat no one was seen making out at
dat area.. too early to say.. walk to the end n saw a couple.. maybe JC?
maybe sec sch? dunno la.. but they spoiled our plans anyway.. hahas...
took abit of photos there la.. yah.. after dat.. wanna go home cos hally
nid to buka puasa.. kesian dier.. hahas.. so we walked back in.. n we
realised dat we can see dat so called JC couple making out sooo clearly!
hahas.. so farnie.. its like on public display.. i wonder wad will happen if
the security happen to walk by there.. hahas...

well... so tired ah now.. so
Go0DyNiGhTY

2005-09-22T23:07:00.000+08:00

whees~ !! happy day!!

today got my engineering week skit practice.. jeremy was back!!
yeah.. so happy.. sorry mr lim, too noisy today.. i was hyper ! hehe
yah.. it was a great practice today.. really great.. but me ? i kept
forgetting my lines.. sorry ppl ! i even said "bluek" in one of my
lines!! lols..and Tong Howe, its not farnie alrites.. =P

hahas.. finally found sum1 who tinks grace is weird.. yeps.. Jeremy!
hehehes.. my partner in crime! hahas.. but left me to entertain her
halfway.. hahas.. nvm.. oh ya, must help him print the script for
MooN People..

after dat, i went to SP to meet Shu Mei for dinner ! hehes.. mishh
her soo much man!! so glad to see her.. did our usual thang.. ya noe..
crapping.. lols.. saw sharon also... den saw the i-hub ex-president..
hahas.. he was like sitting so close to one guy.. look like gay partners
man.. like so comfy.. eew.. but he still kinda look good.. lols...

den went back hm since no one else was free to accompany me..
hmms yah.. feel so lonely nowwadays.. no more going-out-for-nothing
days.. miss dat alot.. no more 3 of us outings.. eversince it happened..
u nvr sms me at all.. no how-are-you smses anymore.. so sad..
but yah.. wad to do.. life has got to go on rite.. yup..

look on the bright side.. i have others to count on.. i hope..
=)

got a new name for muhammad faiz bin zainal.. IS !! or.. IZ!!
eh wait.. come to think of it.. i tink i can call him izzy!! or easy ?
lols.. yah.. izzy sounds cute.. since his frens are baldie and shawny...
cool rite?? hehehes.. ok, u guys can stop "vomitting blood" alredi..
i noe i noe.. i shud stop toking rubbish.. hahas..
toking abt IS.. iman's so called classmate rayyan n is shook my hand
and hugged me today. gosh they are soo adorable man.. i tink i wanna
work at tumble tots.. lols.. haha... dream on..

hahahs.. ok.. dats all for now foLkS..

Go0Dy Bye !

2005-09-20T23:49:00.000+08:00

update.. yups.. here they are..

stupid safari got error.. had to retype this
damn post.. oh ya.. well.. start from sunday.. i
woke up early for religious class.. was half an
hour late.. hahas.. now the late-coming queen
in madrasah.. hahas.. as usual the "punishment"
was to buy nab milo.. lols.. but i forgot abt it la..
so did nab.. hahas.. so, the lesson was okay.. cept
the part when ustazah yukla went in.. i dint bring
my bk for one of her lessons la.. den she was ask-
iing me a question lar.. shudnt hav made eye-con
tact wif her.. she was like saying " girl, girl yg tgh
tgk ustazah ni.." wad i did was... just smile hoping
she wud ask another person.. she kept on asking
n i kep ignoring her.. haha.. den she moved on to
another qn which she asked daing.. he was noisy
la dat day.. so serve him right !

den dunno why.. she ask me again.. she said now
" yang girl tadi yang tersenyum.. ah yang tu.. pakai
cermin mata.." not enuff she said.. " yang deret anak
cik sultan" i was like.. damn, now everyone noes its me
so, again i smiled n ignored her question " ah, tersenyum
lagi.. dier tak bawak buku tapi ustazah tau dier tgh berfikir
.. tgh dengar.." oh yes, of cos i was listening.. but the ans
shes lookin for was in the bk.. haiya.. she ask nab for my
name.. and now.. shes gonna pick on me forever.. im dead
really dead.. no more not bringing book for me.. =( lols
and she said my name was so ANTIQUE! GR00Vy~ hehe

she soon got my hint and answered her own question..
lols.. den next lesson was ustazah karmilah.. teased her
the whole time la.. shes funny.. tokd aby 'syurga' ask
a stupid question.. den she laughed like hell..
hahas.. funny la.. so yah.. it was ok..

dad picked me up after lessons over.. went hm and
help mum cook.. CHICKEN RICE! whees~
den checked my phone.. received sms frm ted..
ask me go out.. cos he smsed me a few hrs ago, i
replied kinda late.. so he changed his mind abt goin
out.. den abt evening he called me.. was still a little
mad at him.. so, i was cold towards him.. dint really
listened to wad he was saying.. besides, i was busy
playing MEOWW hehes.. when i finally ended the
game, i then realised dat he had an accident that
afternoon.. gosh.. poor him.. was in a state of shock
man.. hurt his neck.. but yah.. hes ok i tink.. i hope..
yah.. my anger subsided of cos..

moving on.. monday.. went to JB.. EDEN GARDEN..
a hotel.. my dad got voucher for free lunch for 2 n
a free rm.. so.. 4 of us went, including iman is 5 la..
2 free.. 2 pay.. iman free la.. den the free rm.. ok la..
bed very comfy.. tv is gd.. the view is wonderful too..
hahas.. den went swimming.. not bad.. swam 5 laps
nonstop.. my stamina still not bad lar.. wanna improve
of cos.. oh ya b4 dat went to their gym.. not bad..
plus, no one was there cept me! lols..

after dat, parents go pasar malam to buy us dinner n
tudung forr me.. n sum for home la.. me, my sis n iman
stayed hm.. i mean in the hotel room.. hahas.. me n kak
hajar watched this korean show.. stained glass.. so sweet
the story.. iman slept for 2 hrs.. cos of him, the rm had to
be dark la.. so yah.. daddy bought us delifrance sandwhich
to share while waiting for our dinner.. den, they came back,
ate dinner and we went on our way hm.. reach hm abt 12++
slept till abt 12 the next day.. hahas

which is today la.. woke up so late.. mum started screaming
at me as usual.. didnt go out.. was damn tired lah.. so whole
day, was either online, feed iman, play wif him or watch tv..

oh ya, i watched a show in cinemax.. was damn disgusting
man the show.. but was a good show la.. its abt this dentist
whos very gd at his job, but his wife never liked wad he did..
his wife thot it was low class la.. cos shes a big star.. an opera
singer.. very famous.. den he also soon found out she had an
affair with the guy who cleaned their pool every morning..
but she didnt noe he found out la.. den he became very
troubled so he took pills.. like anti-depressant or sumthing..
but it was an overdose.. den when he was wif the patients, he
tend to tink abt his problems n his feelings got carried away..
till he kinda molested one of his patients n almost killing her..
he thot it was his wife la, they make out n den he strangled her..
yah, sumthing like dat..

den it was his marriage anniversary.. showed his wife his own
decorated dental area for his wife.. dats where he planned to
kill her actually.. yah.. ask her to lie down all.. den tied her neck
tightly to the chair.. kinda strangling her.. den he took sumthing
.. sum instrument which helps the mouth to open.. he kinda
opened her mouth real big till her jaw widened.. yah.. dislocated?
i tink so.. she was like screaming la wif her mouth open.. oh ya..
cos of dat, her lips tored.. bleeding profusely.. den he plucked out
all her tooth... yeah.. blood again.. eew.. it happened in the middle
of the night anyway.. so no one new..

she didnt die la cos he didnt kill her.. at hm next morning.. he
changed her to her bikini and laid her near the poolside, a hat
covering her face.. so the normal guy came.. clean the pool.. he
found something which look like a tongue in the pool.. actually
her tongue lar.. the dentist cut it off n threw it in the pool.. so
the pool guy wanted to ask that lady.. lifted the hat n was shocked
to see the bloody face.. hahas.. den the dentist from behind
stabbed the guy.. dead.. den washe up n went off to work..
at work, one of his patient, really big mouth.. tok a lot i mean..
was kinda saying how sexy his wife was.. even told the dentist how
sexually attracted he was to her.. stupid guy rite.. deserved wad the
dentist did la.. he did the same thing he did to his wife.. yup..
den his assistants found out.. one was done the same thing..
the other was just injected wif sumthing den died..

next patient was a girl Sarah.. wanted her braces removed.. he
apparantly did a great job on her.. she praised him for being a
great dentist.. he was touched but soon the pills made him
hallucinate n tink it was his wife.. his wife's mouth.. bloody n all..
he took out a gun n almost shot her.. den realised it was a girl..
she kicked him n ran.. sumhow during dat period, police went to
his house n found the dead pool guy n the wife stil alive.. so, tracked
him to his office.. yah.. finally found him la.. catch.. den send to
mental hospital.. there, they show he was afraid of their routine
dental check ups.. lol.. funny.. shud watch.. very nice.. hahas

yah.. tink dats all la for today...
G00DniTe!

2005-09-18T01:04:00.000+08:00

time for today's early mornin blogging...
GOOD MORNING BLOGGERS!!!

i cant sleep.. why? i have no darn idea..
what happen yesterday? quarrelled wif ted..
cos.. hes being damn unreasonable..
dis morning, i left my phone to charge while i
was busy helping my mum cook chicken rice
(slurps).. i was only "free" after 3..

dats when i realised he asked me out to some
event near esplanade.. so, i asked him wad
time it all ends, he said 4 n he said forget it..
so, my natural reaction was to apologise la rite..
den.. he dint reply.. so i ask if he was angry..
finally replied a 'yes'.. so im like apologising again
ah..

after dat he expect me to noe the reason why
he got angry.. so m like, how wud i noe.. cant be
just cos i reply late.. but maybe la.. but i was busy
dammit !! he was like, i dun like it when ppl dun reply
his sms.. so i was saying i was bz rite.. wad part dun he
understand? he was like demanding explanation n all..
so im like, wad de hell la teddy.. watever.. hate him!

ugh.. pissed man.. if im like him, id hav ignored him
long time ago.. dammit.. yesterday, i wanted to go
out wif him n i had to wait like 1 hr for his sms and an
hour and a half for him to appear ok !! did i ask for an
explanation?? no?! why shud i? hes not my bf or sumthin
and i have no rite to do dat ! but me? why bother?!
damn him la.. why does he always have to blow up at me?!
y must he always be an exception for getting angry?
why cant i get angry huh? what makes him so special to
say dat im not supposed to get angry at him??
huh?! who is he?! dammit!!

whatever la ted.. frm now on.. do wadever u wan..
told u to go find ur godsis u dun wan..

haix.. ok.. foget abt it..
now chatting wif my sayang An.. woahs.. An, dun kembang kays..
hehehes.. no la.. not for real.. hes one of my sweety fren..
cheers me up.. =)) miss hangin out wif him mann..
yah.. he helping me download my song now..
and tmr... going madrasah.. see my wonderful darlings in class !
whees~ !! so happy!!
hahas.. okay.. i better get some sleep..

g00dNitEy~!

2005-09-17T00:22:00.000+08:00

haiya.. okay okay..

kenny n the one with the 'Y', i've linked u..
and yah.. forgot to mention dat i saw kenny
at the Xbox shop dat time.. so, apek, happy
now?? lols..

yah.. today.. went back to sch for drama..
b4 dat met ina to pass her the container..
she haven bathe.. ERKK! lols..
yah.. reach at abt 1.30 wif mei ling.. kenny
was there oredy.. yah.. den came jia wen..
den the king of late-coming, mr totz..
hahas..

was glad to be back wif the D-teckkys..
miss them so much.. met up wif nad ,
victor n kay at meeting rm.. the Y and
louis oso came.. hahas.. yah.. just abit
sad lah.. i can still feel erms.. a strange
gap between me n some ppl.. yah..
tried so hard to make the feeling go away
but it keep coming back.. i keep sensing
the existence of a brick wall between us..
hais.. ok ah nvm..

shall not tink abt depressing issues..
ok, after dat me n jia wen got "halau-ed"
by Cat hahas.. so, had to leave the rm..
since i din wana go hm so early.. i hang
arnd near bedok reservoir.. ya.. alone..
den really bored, thot wanna meet ted..
so went to eunos n sat there.. tried to
contact him but cant get thru till abt 7pm
he finally called back..wah.. lucky.. yah..
waited till 8.30 till he arrive..

he made me eat dinner since i haven eaten
since lunch cos no $$.. as usual, he paid for
it.. hais.. he so sweet.. but i have no feelings
for him anymore.. told him abt today.. he
cheered me up.. brought me to MAC..dats when
i finally saw my "living DRAGON".. my ah Long!
wees~! he so shy.. so farnie.. hahas..
aiyah.. next time just say hi la.. i wun eat u wan!
hahas..

after dat, he drove me hm.. thx ted.. really..
means alot.. but really hope dat u move on
and stop trying to win my heart back.. it wun
work.. i noe u noe i like him alot altho he
doesnt, doesnt mean dat u assume dat u have a
chance wif me.. ur chances are gone.. u lost it..
please try and move on okays.. u can still count
on me if u nid sum1 to tok to tho.. =)

yah... so mushy rite.. hehehes..
to ah Long: weii!! ur exams so near still wana go
play POOL.. go study lar! notty notty.. i go tell ur
mummy! ahahahs.. u better be home by now!
hahas.. chill man.. kidding.. next time pass me ur
skills ok.. take care n good luck!!! =)

to everyone..
GOOD NIGHT!!

2005-09-15T18:07:00.000+08:00

ok lah.. im back..

back from chalet.. dun complain oredy la.. busy woman man.. how to update.. hahas..
chalet, 3 days 2 nites at Downtown East.. went for the first 2 days.. so damn POWERR~
ahas.. finally.. some class gathering where theres not much conflict seh.. and yah..
lots of PICS!! hahas.. but the pics are so not happening la..

okay.. first day.. cook for them beehoon.. idiotic asses didnt finish it.. they eat too
much BBQ food la.. see la.. spend so much.. in the end, how u gonna pay me back har..
muahahahas.. ok yah.. only finish one small container.. brought back hm a full tub of bee
hoon... next day bring back for them..

so, next day, came back wif the heated bee hoon for them.. and those asses.. didnt eat
till abt almost 7.. then the bee hoon near the bottom turning bad.. dunno who ate the last
spoonful.. audrey izit? hopefully u're okay.. to chevy fatso, u ass, u ate one of the last
spoon also.. dats why not nice.. toopid.. ask u all eat earlier, u all itchy butt go buy ur own food..
lols.. nvm.. as long as u pay back moi money hors.. ok yah.. met ina, wee wee, din, remi n willy
at 1.30 BK.. but dat *ahem* remi *ahem* was late.. and he owe us a treat.. lols..

and we went bowling.. so FUN!! haha.. but yah.. i dunno how to bowl la.. abit paiseh.. cos got
pri sch kids having their training lah.. some of them farnie oso.. after they roll the ball, they
pose there till the ball hit the pins.. so farnie!!! hahahas..first game i ok la.. after dat i
deteriorated.. lols.. almost won mann.. yah.. hmms.. sorry sean, but i tink, if i came, it wudnt
be so bad afterall.. lols.. and to those ppl frm my class who dint turn up, u guys better pay up!!
lols.. if not, whos gonna pay my food.. im bankrupt leh.. kenny, dats why my mama-shop close..
all these ppl dun wanapay.. lols.. ok CRAP!

after dat we went to arcade.. den XBOX shop.. watch my frens play.. no money to do anything oredy
lar.. hahas.. oh ya, i owe wee wee one dollar.. lols.. den when din, remi, wee wee n eric play soccer
game in one rm, i join them.. so farnie.. and FUN.. shouting GOAL was damn fun.. but halfway, the CD
spoil sia.. then end up playing the tennis game.. even more farnie.. din so noisy with his "sounds"
after hitting the ball.. remi's action on the court.. wee wee's blurness.. lols.. den when wee wee had to
ans a call n i have to take over, was worse, i dun even noe how to play! all cos of me, din scored 15 pnts.
hahas.. i oso had to take over eric oso but den the game ended anyways.. yah.. din n remi won of cos..

after dat BBQ.. den i left b4 all the food was even BBQ-ed.. yah.. met teddy.. he also another blur ass..
ask him to call me when he board the bus so dat i can also board the same bus frm the same bustop, he
go n alight n dint even call me.. ass.. in the end. wait for no.3 drop at TM den go hm frm there..
bought McChicken for myself at Mac near my house den walk hm.. so farnie sia he.. i finally got to tickle
him.. hahas.. muahahas. revenge.. he like to tickle me so much rite.. next time, i tickle him till he pee
in his pants den he noe.. haha.. yah ted, thx for accompanying me hm.. so sweet! =)

today... i went to GYM wif Ina n Jane.. want to erm lose weight abit ah.. since ppl notice im growing sideways lookin
like a sotong ball rite.. hahas.. dun wanna be muscular.. just wanna tone my body la.. didnt run on treadmill
cos the ppl there so selfish. i wait so long they still nv stop... one auntie run till she almost fainted.. hahas..
serve her right! lols.. im so bad.. oh well.. next session maybe this weekend or next wk ah..
thats all for now..

BuBBye~!!

2005-09-11T22:55:00.000+08:00

okay fine ..
update is here.. so, sour apek, ur turn to shuddupp...

lols.. im so mean.. but i LOVE it!
hahas.. no la.. im not so cruel.. =p

hmm.. wad has been happening? not much actually..
exams over.. class chalet cumin up.. and, im turning into
a.. SOTONG BALL!! yeps!!!! hahas.. im growing sideways
damn rapidly judging from the rate im eating.. hahas

yeah.. boringg.. so i had my own cam-whoring session..

there you have it.. got some-more lah.. but shy ah to put here.. lols..
u wan see den ask me.. den i go put up somewhere.. hahas..

well.. so far i havent been as affected as before by wadever dat happened between me n him last time..
feeling so much better now.. i hope history will not repeat itself again..
anyways.. thx faiz for letting me noe dat i can count on u when i need to talk n all.. =)

today.. saw baldwin n cheryl workin at TM.. haha.. so cute.. n their uniform is so nice!!
hmmphs.. jealous of all u ppl who r allowed to work.. how i wish i was..

oh ya.. dat friday.. went out wif the 'funside' to east coast.. it was ok la..
i dint blade n all.. hang arnd wif dex, iris, adeline, wee xiang..
at least it was better den b4.. got wee wee, guo liang to tok to..
dex, willy, cheryl, chev n carol also tok to me lah.. so yah.. definitely better den before..

but.. if betsy, ina n din was there.. even more fun! =))

well.. hopefully my life stays this way.. dun wan anymore rpoblems wif anyone..
no more backstabbing n all.. pls.. i prefer it this way..

oh ya.. btw, found one poem dedicated to sum1..

I always wanted more from you
than you were willing to give;
So now we've gone our separate ways
each with different lives to live.

The bond will always be there
the friendship always intact;
But the time for us has come and gone
and the pages of time, you can't turn back.

I will always be a friend to you
and wonder how you are;
The smiles and laughter I will remember
and our fights have become painless scars.

Sometimes on those busy days
when you've a thousand things to do;
Please let me glide slowly through your mind
and spend some time with you.

In that quiet moment
when you're surprised to find me there;
Just remember even with the distance between us
I am still someone who cares...

=)

2005-09-06T01:09:00.000+08:00

heys.. i miss my sec sch mates.. really..

life in poly is definitely not the same.. frens come n go..
but in sec sch.. frens.. are frens..

at this moment.. im tinkin abt him.. and only him..
is he tinkin abt me? i dun tink so.. eversince he said
that sum1 else has entered his life i dun tink he tinks
abt me at all.. not ever.. maybe never before..
i dun get it.. if he likes me just like a close fren, why
did he has to go thru so much trouble saying "i like you"..

him confessing his feelings dat way gave me hope of us
getting together.. but no.. i just realised ive been a fool..
all along.. the sweet name he called me.. all the times
he sms and show his care.. now.. all gone.. why..
why did he even bother tell me he like me.. den pushing
me to the side the next moment.. suddenly, no sms frm
him frm the freq ones before.. den.. didnt even bother
to reply oso sumtimes.. not a word.. not a call..

why.. even after him assuring dat he likes sum1 else,
i cudnt move on.. times ive tried to make myself forget
him.. it dint work.. at all.. nothing.. frens have introduced
me to guys to help me forget him.. i cudnt.. im not lookin
a relationship.. pls dun match make me.. i just yearn for
someone.. someone who cares.. whos there when i need
him.. yes.. kevin.. hes always been sweet.. very sweet indeed..
but.. he has his own life.. his frens.. sch.. olevel.. i cant always
bother him rite? he sms me to check if im ok.. it really means
alot to me u noe.. not only him.. frens frm msn.. frquently
checks if im fine.. yes.. i need love and care.. those never
bothered me until i was 13.. i realised, i nv felt true care..
or even love..

well, teddy.. he loves me.. he said so.. i can feel it.. but..
it isnt the same.. he doesnt understand my religion..
he doesnt want to.. ugh.. ppl say i shud just "GET A
LIFE!"

but.. i cant help it.. mum found my diary.. she read
abt him.. she tinks hes not worth my tears.. well mum,
maybe.. maybe u shud just understand me first before
judging anyone else..

u noe wad? to him: well, i hope u get her whoever she is..
i will pray for ur hapiness =) i hope u achieve ur dreams too!

now.. exam week.. been studying all wk.. so tired..
study wif din, fad, ina.. sumtimes wif her frens..
today wif betsy oso..
recently wif cheryl, baldwin n his fwen.. sorry
dint noe so many of my classmates were cumin..
hope ure not very angry.. need lollies to cool u down?
hees~

ugh.. hate my parents.. saw me in front of the comp..
said " why? too confident already? dun wan distinction izit??"
so damn friggin sarcastic! ugh! get off my back for once will you?!
so wad if kakak does so much better den me?? when i did improve
or do really wel, u promised me so many things.. where are they?!
kakak got everything she asked for.. what abt me?? since PSLE, den
reach to Olevels.. till now.. im still patient.. i still tink dat u'd keep ur
promise.. but each time, all ur promises just seem to fade away..
why me.. why..

2005-08-28T01:21:00.000+08:00

hmms.. life's been WONDERFUl nowadays..
projs are done.. presentation is over..
now left with exams.. and only 2 paperss!
how great is that??

PLUS, we cleared the misunderstanding between us..
altho i still dunno why he ignore me.. but yah.. we're
both frens now.. in talking terms..

well anw, dramatec coregrp was fun! 2 of the casts frm aides of
march came.. and the president of poly stage factor
& one extra woman also was present.. and all of us were in
"taking-pics" mode! even me! i dun even noe when n how i wasnt
shy infront of cameras anymore.. lols.. strange huh..
from a camera-shy girl to a camera SLUT! lols..

engine drama was also not bad.. i finally can use words to act
& show emotions.. got to use the maximum volume of my
voice.. it felt gd!!

and even today meeting my sec sch frens.. they brought digi
cams.. hahas.. and i've been the one snapping pics here n
there! and my frens go.. woah! wad happened eversince
u stepped into TP?? haha.. i was just laughing lah..
they nv thot i wud be someone more cheerful n outgoing
and loves photos!! yup.. i was once a quiet innocent one..
WAS.. haha

another thing, i'm in MOON PEOPLE!!
but im in ensemble only lah.. hmms.. its ok.. i dun always hav to
be themain actor to be the centre of attention rite?
and anyway, no one starts their acting career from the top..
everyone goes thru to being the bottom..
besides, ensemble is not bad at all.. i get to sing!! i think..
haha.. not so sure.. i hope so.. den i can sing!! whees!!

oh ya.. drama photos are up in
http://wrigglyworm.multiply.com/photos/albums/12
i tink..

2005-08-25T15:05:00.000+08:00

u noe wad.. yesterday was my b'day.. 24th aug.. i turn 17..
was initially in an ok mood.. then.. presentation.. it was fine lah..
took photos n stuff.. went lunch wif my class for b'day lunch..
yah.. was quite happy lah.. altho not all was there.. and not all made
me feel special.. i mean they dont have to.. but they shud at least try n
stop chatting among their own clique so much n leave me alone rite..
plus, who initiated the bday lunch? not me.. i mean, thanks la.. but,
cant u guys at least like not leave me on my own?

thank gawd i sat at the rite table wif the guys.. thanks to guo liang, evigan,
remi, din, augustin and eric.. they definately made my day memorable.. n of
cos to fyda, ekhsan n fattah.. thanks for dinner..

i mean.. ugh! wad de fuck is wrong wif me... why does EVERYONE seem to have
an argument wif me today?? wads my problem?1 fuck ah.. i really hate this day.. i hate it!!
first, betsy is angry wif me.. den paul call me stupid.. n den.. my gdfrens... my close frens..
my bestfriends!! they all forgot my birthday!!! i hate myself! i really do...!!

if i had a choice.. really.. i dun mind dying... id rather be dead!!

friggin lala~

2005-08-21T15:15:00.000+08:00

hey hey hey...
been long since i've updated...
well, not much of a diff.. life's not getting better..
nothin new.. just dat, im beginnin to despise him more n more..
yah.. no one noes who cept betsy n polly.. yah.. dats how im gonna keep it for dis moment..
yah.. he wanna ignore me? go ahead.. i wun stop you..
but knowing dat u like sum1 else after u told me u like me is really bugging me..
cant he like just tell me honestly like soon dat he doesnt like me anymore or sumthing??
i feel like a dirty cloth.. used, den throw away..
yah.. isulted in a way..

hmph! dun wanna tok abt him la..
well, im really feeling grateful to have F506 as my class..
altho i feel sad dat the people i trust at first is drifting frm me n bonded wif their own grp, i still feel proud dat i have them all as classmates..
they made me feel as if we're a big family.. a happy one..
i had the greatest fun on thurs altho i was physically hurt..
everyone was nuts on dat day..
maybe cos we cant figure out our java's "de-bugging"..
and i, am a disgrace to javanese!! hahas.. ok not funny..

ok, ya anyways.. evryone was nuts rite..
my boss, checy chad n mrs boss cheryl also siao...
actually the whole class la..
den dat day we stayed behind to finish our webby n presentation slides..
i was my usual self, CRAZY of cos..
learnt an "action" to disturb ppl frm xuan xuan..
but in the end, i was disturbed the MOST!! hahas.. but FUN!
firstly, i was shoved to the wall by xuan's hip.. he kept on doin dat to me!
aiyoh... his hip ah.. so powderful man!
and, he can even do dat while i was down on the floor!
ya.. and wheneve it happens, i happen to hit the wall too..
i mean.. like crash to the wall.. yeah.. ouch!

well yeah.. there was once i got shoved and crashed onto the tables in the lab..
den crashed to the floor.. crash at someone..
and den while disturbing guoliang, he shoved me so damn hard dat i crashed
to the cupboard which bang the wall of the next rm and den icrashed to the floor...
its like.. OUCH!!
hahas.. den dat toopid guoliang lift my right leg n dragged me to the front of the lab...
yes.. DRAG.. not enuff.. he carried both my leg n drag me further!!
haha.. after dat i laughed no end... xuan xuan n guoliang face so red....
lol.. yah..
was still laughing on the floor till boss ask me to continue wif my work..

haha.. farnie sia... before they go hm..i got shoved again.. ya.. like a farewell one.. hahas.. ok, maybe not fun for u.. but who cares.. i love my class!!

haha.. so moral of the stry is..
****F506 rawks!!!****

----

2005-08-09T13:45:00.000+08:00

im either too sensitive or just seek attention..

maybe both..

i dunno..

ok, i ask u all ah.. lets say u like this person.. n u noe dat this person likes u too..
as in, the two of u hav confessed feelings n all..
den like a few days later, he seems to drift further away frm u n closer to another person..
and its like hes ignoring you.. how would you feel? like seriously..

maybe u wun feel anything.. but me? i was a little jealous but at the same time sad also,
cos the one dat u gave ur heart to, isnt really speaking to you..
and den, he was like the person u turn to when u feeling helpless.. but now, u cant possibly
tell him wad u r feeling rite.. so, i had no one to trun to anymore.. except my blog..
and surely, i noe no one is reading it cos i told ppl i wun be updating..

anyway.. yah.. i'been cryin over it.. yah, u must be wondering why rite... one simple reason:
I LIKE HIM ALOT & I"M DUMB!
there, i said it...

thanks to polly.. cheered me up.. kinda let me cry n feel bette..
thx to ted oso, kept me company when polly not free..
ted, thx for bein a grean hor.. i noe u did nothing.. but surely he made me laugh..
i just dunno wad to do now..

so, does he or does he not like me.. wad is this..
im confused.. can he just tell me dat he has no more feelings for me
and save myself frm hurting myself anymore.. i hate it..
i cant help it ok.. i like him alot.. i cant deny that..
but if u feel bored wif me oredi, just tell me.. den i shall just leave you alone..
ugh.. i cant type anymore..

im goin to bed.. another round of "cry myself to sleep"

worst day of my life

2005-07-29T19:50:00.000+08:00

hi ppl.. im back for an entry.. i cant help it..
i'm feeling very distraught.. totally..
i've been crying all day long..

not blaming anyone but my f***ing self..
i made sum1 angry.. hes totally pissed..
yes.. totally..

the emotions thingy have got into me..
start to think of the worst situations.. im crying since like.. i dunno wad time..
ask paul.. yes paul.. i'm still awake.. i cant sleep..
if *he ever enters my blog.. i dun tink he will..

u noe why i cry? u do? u sure? cos i dont..
i dun like making people angry.. yah.. im a crybaby..
thats not new.. but i cant help it.. i dun wanna make enemies..
i love all my frens..

well, i tink i shud just let him cool down.. maybe if hes angry, den nvm,, i wun repeat the mistake again..
i promise... really..
sorry....

camp time...

2005-05-14T12:29:00.000+08:00

ah.. toopid blogger lost my entry...
i shall try n recall wad i have typed before..
its basically about TP Freshmen Orientation Camp..
yepx.. i enjoyed it very much..
hmms.. i tink for this entry, i'll only tell you about my first day at camp only..

Day 1:
okay.. reached sch at exactly 12pm..
my dad drove me there.. mum n iman followed too..
i wasnt exactly excited cos i dunno anyone who is going..
so walked slowly to the sports complex..
went in looking blur..
i was led to a noticeboard to look for my name n empire name by a leader..
my empire name is Xeon btw..
yup.. a radioactive element..
and my sub-empire is called Xewo.. dun ask me why..
anyway each empire has 3 sub-empires..
the 5 main ones are.. Neon, Xeon, Radon, Krypton and Argon..

okay back to me..
after dat, went to register at my empire's booth and was given a white tshirt..
after dat sat wif the rest of ppl in my empire lor..
btw, its the quietest empire.. the rest were happily cheering..
while we were just staring at each other with a blank look..
yah.. dats wen i became sian.. i thot maybe it wud suck wif ppl like dat in de grp..
den, Cedric appeared.. yea! got fren! was kinda happy alittle..
but didnt really talk to him much lah.. he always disappear.. haha..

first fren i made with was Zi Ting,, sweet lookin ger.. a yr older den me..
thot i can stick wif her all the way but i realised we were i diff subempires..
sad..
den split into Xewo, was alone again..
but lucky the GLs made us play an intro game where everyone has to repeat the name of the first person in the grp till its ur turn..
yah.. so dats wen everyone talk n ask for repeat n stuff..
den we dance the frenship dance.. the " as we walk to de left, as we walk to the right"
quite fun..
i can still remember one guy, he was trembling wen holding my hand.. i wonder why.. lol
after dat play manymore games la..
den it was time for us to make our own lanyards.. i tink dats how its spelt.. haha
wanted to decorate our tshirts also but no time.. sad...

den learn more cheers..
after dat we had our early lunch at abt 4.30pm...
after dat we were brief-ed for our outdoor games la..
went to tampines central for our station games..
quite fun.. in the end also went to buy stuff at cheers...

back at sch by 10pm..
more cheers... more games..
den we were told of our scores for each empire..
Xeon came in 3rd.. hmms.. i tink not bad arh..
den halfway durin the announcement of scores, the lights suddenly turned off...
den soon enuff.. the fans in the sports hall was also turned off...
imagine.. its super duper blardy hot...

after dat, we had our supper... n den we r de-brief-ed.. haha
den bathe lors... yah.. as usual.. super long queue for the showers..
after that it was still super hot.. so me n a fren Li Yan n her fren decided to sit at the sports gallery for frsh air..
den the 2 of them talk while i was on the phone.. ted called.. den i call mcroy..
den bored so joined shalyn, yuan ting, mong ling, melissa, wei yi and bernie..
very fun...
we start talking rubbish... den played some lame jokes..
even our GLs joined us.. doufu, christopher n one malay guy...
so fun.. didnt wan it to end but everything has to have an ending..
den we all split up for lights out..

couldnt sleep...
why??
its super hot..
plus, sumbody turned on their radio sooo sooo loud..
plus, the grp in fron of me kept on screeching cos they said they saw cockroach..
haha.. but farnie lar..
so, i listen to my hp radio till i fall asleep..
woke up at 4.30am..
den fell asleep again..
n woke up at 5.25 for my shower..
the next day's programme i will tell u in the next entry..
maybe tmr..

anyway... i just wanna wish an advanced birthday to my pillar of strength, sgt mcroy goh..
hehehe..

HaPPy BirFdaE to YeW~
HaPPy BirFdaE to YeW~
HaPPy BirFdaE to MCROY~~
HaPPy BirFdaE to YeW!!!!

may ur cinderella appear in ur arms very soon!!
all the best!!
erms.. i must apologise... i got no prezzie..
cos i hav no allowance due to my overshot bill..
i owe u next yr kay...
hehehe...
love ya loads!
P.S: u owe me lollipop....

p

2005-05-06T13:37:00.000+08:00

he did it again...

he said: dear, i am watching vcd wif my frens..
so, i wun be talking much..

he's like hinting dat he wanna put down lor..
so i'm like : oh, do u wan to watch it "peacefully" then?
he goes: i dunno.. if u wanna put down den i'm okay with it..
i can feel him smiling...
so i went: den i shall not disturb u..
replied: k bye
and *click*
he's gone... again...

aaah!! y did he hung up on me!
frack frack frack!!!
mcroy!! help!!

fyda.. where r u............

im going nuts!!

p

2005-05-06T13:30:00.000+08:00

guess what.. he finally called..

ugh.. so wad am i gonna do now....

dang..

i melted wen he apologised..

p

2005-05-06T13:07:00.000+08:00

mcroy, thanks..

thanks for being there at my moment of weakness..
i'm glad u called me back.. if not, i tink i wud be dead by now..
like u said, hes not worth my tears.. but i still have feelings for him..
its been so long since i've had this kinda feelings..
he showed he cared.. he showered me with love..
but now, i tink it was just a show..
or.. does he really care?
maybe i'm just too sensitive..
maybe i'm really jinxed.. i've failed in so many relationships..
maybe i'm overreacting......
i'll wait for a few more hours for his call.. if he does call that is..

waiting....

0

2005-05-06T12:55:00.000+08:00

hmms... its abt time i blog..

been going out wif sayang like twice a wk..
love his company...

but now.. i dont know anymore..
i feel like hes taking me for granted...
its like, wen he bored den he look for me..
if not, he'll be playing wif his games.. or watch tv.. or some stuff..
i mean im not exactly asking him to call me like every min..
but, cant he leave some time for me?
do i have to always be the one calling him?
not that i dun like it.. just that, i just wan him to show me more appreciation..

its only a month plus.. and den we keep quarrelling..
wads wrong wif me?!
ah.. i dunno.. maybe i made a wrong choice..
maybe im just not ready..
maybe i just totally suck...
ah.. frack la..!!

i tink im gonna stop blogging..
everytime i wanna blog, sumthing will come up n spoil my mood...
friggin frustratin!
i love him, he tinks i'm cheap!

FRACK!

;;

2005-04-26T07:04:00.000+08:00

if i was a rich girl...
nananananana~

hahax.. the song so cute...

i need $$$..
really urgently...
guess my bill people!
618 bucks!!!!!!!!

yah... total CRAP...
i duno how long am i gonna take to fork out that much money...
hmm.. maybe sum1 can help me pay.. sincerely...
DREAM ON!!!
lols...

okay... time for my proper blog..
hmms... friday.. what did i do?
oh ya... had a lunch date wif edwin n his fren...

while waiting for bus, he sms me saying dat it wud only be him cos his fren had to go hm..
so, im like, DANG! it wud b so damn awkward..
hmms.. maybe can try to talk more..

so, was there kinda early.. abt 12.40pm.. meeting at 12.45pm..
he came abt 12.55pm.. wif another fren.. SABRI..
malay guy.. short.. spikey hair.. shy..
TOTALLY SUPER DUPER SHY.. but he smokes.. HMPHS!

yah.. most of the time, me n ed talking.. he just listen n smile n laugh..
lols.. den janice came.. yup, i invited her..
we were all at LJS bugis btw..
and guess who else came???

E D M U N D C H E N!!!!!!!

oh my gosh... he's so cute!!
i was like half melting... sumore sat at the table beside us..
saw me lookin at him at the counter.. he smiled..
gaaah!!! almost faint.. thank god im sitting down.. lols
i was like shaking all over... drooling... *sLuRPs* haha

ugh!!! jan sit so close to him!!!!
before he left, we asked for autograph n a pic..
oh my gawd..
i am so jealous... !!!!
why??
jan was so damn close to him in the pic!!!!
aaaaargggh!!!!

haix.. nvm... at least he shook my hend n waved just b4 he left...
he caled me wonderful!! haha!
okay okay.. he's married...

haha.. okay.. im crazy..

saturday.. supposed to go gym wif fyda..
den she got gastric n cancelled it..
so, went out wif sayang..
went to bukit timah..
learn to play pool..
erms.. interesting.. difficult.. n weird poses..
lols..
i just hate bending down lah..
but very fun.. haha..

den.. we took a bus to tampines.. 67..
from there, took 65 to harbourfront..
haha.. my gosh... VERY LONG journey man...
its okay.. spend time wif him.. hahax..
talk, talk, laugh laugh, tickle tickle, scream scream..
eh, only i scream.. lols... he bully me..
hit my knee, my head banged on the window...
so painful..

den at harbourfront, walk walk.. see cruises n ships..
den drink watermelon juice..
den took 65 back to my house.. frm there he go hm lor..
reach hm abt 7.30...
was late.. but nvm lah.. lols..

yah.. at hm, my uncles, aunts n cousins all came..
quite fun.. miss them... haha
den slp..

sunday supposed to go sch.. but had gastric flu..
miss fyda.. hehe..
den went expo wif my parents for some maulid thingy..
after that time for tuition..
taught for 3 hrs.. so sleepy...

after that had dinner at eunos.. aah.. my carrotcake is horrible that time..
nowadays dunno y.. when i eat abit only, i feel so full... like no more appetite..
but good lah.. den can eat less.. haha..

hmms... miss k..
lots lots.. still cant forget him...
ugh... why.......
i thot i have moved on...
i keep seeing him everywhere..
friendster.. his pics..
his smses.. his promises.. his sweet poems..
i still wait for his sms altho i noe he doesnt sms me anymo'..
maybe he has a girl in his life already..
maybe we just arent meant to be..
why did he have to disappear like that...

maybe he's happier now..
ugh.. i gotta stop...
all i wanna noe is his feelings..
all those smses n poems..
wad does it all mean?
does it even mean anything??

i don't know...
i'm lost...

OuTZ..

=)

2005-04-22T14:57:00.000+08:00

cant' help smiling today... =))

hehe.. tired.. exhausted..
BUT
happy... =))

haha.. i sound "cuckoo"!!
its okay.. im just high..
can't sleep also..

okay.. first, abt yesterday..
me, fyda, anwar n feeq went ecp to cycle..
end up only da guys cycling..
COS...
ermz.. i dunno how to cycle.. haha..
n fyda didnt wanna b the only girl..

ya, so we gals just hang out at the seaside..
ppl may think we r lesbians.. LOL
we were basically just having fun in the sun, on the sand, by the sea...
splashing around.. writing on the sand.. just sitting on the hot sand
and talking abt stuff..
yah, im black already.. as in CHARCOAL black.. haha

after dat we wer kinda bored when the guys werent arnd..
decided to sabo anwar since it was his birthday..
asked feeq to join us to push anwar to the sea..
but, he's such a spoiler, go tell him wad we planned..
hmph.. sianz.. no offense ya feeq!
haha..

den just basically sat n talk..
rather, listened to anwar's hilarious neverending stories
while fyda went to cycle..
btw, there's a creepy man who keeps tryin to get me n fyda's attention..
he even tried to noe wher we live..
we were both freaked out.. esp fyda, right? hehe..

anyways.. still bored..
anwar decided to teach me cycling..
and im like.. oh my gosh.. is he sure?
im like double the size of him, heavier den him, can he.. u noe, support me??
wah, nvr judge a bk by its cover..
almost fell many ga-zillion times but he is my hero for the day..
catch my falls.. haha..
so embarassing... *bLusHes*

thanks to him again, i kinda get the concept of cycling..
BUT, i still cant balance properly.. hehe..
i owe him my life man! haha..

today.. went parkway to accp iman to TUMBLE TOTS..
its starts at 11.30.. was there at 11.20.. all the way to 1.15pm..
then, i had a date wif sayang.. hehehe..
FIRST official date okay.. dun play play.. haha..

showed him around since he has nvr been to this area..
he was kinda attracted to de arcade.. i wonder why........
den headed to ECP... yes, AGAIN.. haha
my nghtmare began again..
he made me ride on a bicycle..
the first 20 mins, i cant.. i dunno y.. anwar, wad happen???
hehe.. kidding lar...

was struggling for 20 mins.. den was okay.. abit more stable lar..
but nid more practice rite..
went the the end of ecp.. ineteresting..
even saw a monkey.. YES, at ECP... interesting ryt?? haha
den walk2 again.. he gave me a ride on the bike..
kinda scary but nice at de same time.. cos he kept speeding..
i shall "saman" him one day! lol

walk2 till hungry n tired n hot.. wanted to go pp n eat..
ended up eating at changi airport..
b4 dat, went to see planes at the viewing mall.. interesting..
den ate at BK.. hmm.. he paid for everything since the min our 'date' started..
how SWEEt... hehe...

now, i noe wad r his weaknesses.. one of it is tickling!! haha..
to make him suffer, just poke his waist.. no nid to tickle oso can..
haha... i hope he doesnt find out mine.. haha..

okay... im bored.. i dunno wad else to say...
i'll be back for another story.. hehe...
i'll try NOT to talk abt my sayang kay..

Luv Ya ppl!!! take care!!

OuTZ~!

''

2005-04-19T14:39:00.000+08:00

new skin...
hate the colour...!! totally NOT me!
den why use it?
cos i like the pic of the girl... hehehe...
if sum1 is nice enuf, can help me make a skin wif black bg wif the girl included..
hehehe...

okay.. this shud be temporary...
until i get a new skin wif those knd of pics..
today supposed to work.. didnt go again..
haix.. i nid money!!!

just nw go mustafa centre.. sum shopping for household items..
some niggas in the store tried to make me talk to them..
haha.. too bad.. i just smiled.. and then they were like.. " hmm.. good enough... see ya!"
haha.. so funny...

tmr supposed to celebrate anwar's bday. which is originally today..
happy b'day!!!
i might not b able to make it tmr altho its my off day..
but i have to go JB wif my parents...
sucks...
i hope i reach hm early so i can join them....
if i cant, sorry ANWAR.... =(

guess wad? jielong stays so near me but we only know it like a few hrs ago!
and near as in.. a few units away ONLY...
my gosh... so scary........

now waiting for sayang to call..
wait, i dun tink hes gonna call.. haha..
just nw he play game.. b4 dat was workin whole day..
poor him.. eh, NO!
he promised to call me... hor hor..
tmr he will get it from me! muahahaha..
im so evill... hehe..
i tink he sleeping.. PIG..
oops.. remind me of mcroy.. haha..

if dat sayang keeps dooin dat, i goin to abandon him liao..
wah.. i threaten in public sumore.. haha
nvm.. i got reserve one sayang liao..
eh, more than one leh... haha!!!

ok...im still not sleepy..
but im gonna end dis entry for now..
go play game..
hehe

OuTZ~!

;

2005-04-18T02:04:00.000+08:00

hmph... defeat again....
yup.. lost the netball match...
nvm... we are going to try harder!!
not gonna elaborate more...

not a bad day lah.. kinda hurt my ankle again..
but i'm okay...
today slept like the whole afternoon... so tired..
*yAWnZ*
after dat sayang call me..
haha.. ok, i dunno why i just laughed..

he's so funny.. like so cute today..
he laughed alot too.. thats good..
yup yup.. yah.. he sent me me some songs..
Katrina by david tao.. and also
One Last Cry.. same person..
first one is dat time sylvester sing one..
2nd one is sad song.. very nice..
go look it up...

anyway i was supposed to go out wif him yesterday..
stupid rain came to his place.. it was like so heavy..
he couldnt leave the house
i noe u all tink dat he shud just go out..
well, i dunno.. i tink better not..
he's having a flu.. plus the bustop is 2km away from his house..
yup yup yup.. ended up stay at home..

btw, i forgot to say dat right after my match, dat mcroy called..
yup.. wondering wad happen to him right... ya, i oso dunno..
he called just to ask abt his application for htm.. and also
to congratulate us for losing.. so evil rite.. haha
den, he stuidly ask me if i wanna go jogging wif me later..
SIAO.. i am like injured.. sumore so tired... crazy ah he..
haha....

next match against seranggoon garden sec...
dunno if we can make it..
they r netball players.. sch team...
we r newbies... haha..
i feel so scared now even tho they are younger...

hmm.. still cant forget K..
he came back just as he left without a trace..
ugh.. i have to move on..
but i cant... i cant K.. i hope u noe that..
i hope u reply my message in friendster..
and btw, thanks for smsing me last nite..
u don't know how glad am i to receive an sms from you...

OuTZ~!

bck

2005-04-14T04:52:00.000+08:00

okay... i'm back...

yes wanying.. i hear ya... haha

i actually thot of stop blogging.. no ones ever reads it anyway..
but thinking again.. who cares? i love writing and complaining about stuff and
anyone can come and read.. not happy, then leave lor..
right jie long?? hehex..

okay.. yah.. been kinda busy.. besides, my sis needs the comp for her sch work more
den me, so i rarely have the chance to use it..

okay.. training still sucks.. not that i hate the session.. i just hate those who never show up for even one
session!! im pissed!
yah.. fyda took time to set a date and time for training but instead the response are so poor..
don't they even care about the tournament?? i guess not.. if they do, they would have turn up often!!
tournament is this sunday, and we never even play a proper game with a team cos there's never
enough people!!!! don't expect me n fyda to keep calling our frens from sch to come down and help
each training ya noe!
u all better turn up this evening!!

okay.. haha.. im feeling betta..
last saturday, must thank so many ppl for coming down to play wif us..
thanks to little sayang from tampines sec.. and all his little n idiotic frenz..
thx to daddy n elvin for coming dwn..
thx to nab for makin it after sooo long.. missed ya.. haha

tuesday.. same ol stuff.. bball session wif da guys..
farah didnt come.. arif is still annoying haha..
de rest was fine.. had a nice talk wif anwar on de way back..
right fyda? yup yup yup.. thx!! wad we talk abt in the bus stays in the bus alryt? =)
oh ya, thanks for the cd!!

wad else happened?
hmm.. yesterday went to complete all my enrolment stuff.. finally..
yah.. feel relieved... btw, i suck in my matriculation card picture.. ugh!!! wasted sixbucks.. actually kinda cheap for 6pics don't u think? but i look so AWFUL in it.. yuck!
read jie long's blog.. poor him.. are tjc ppl really that stuck up and so anti-social??
jie long join me at tp la.. den we create havoc! haha..
aww, feel bad for him.. lost his wallet and hp.. aiyo.. so careless..

okay.. im enjoying everynight of my life...
my sayang calls me every night.. how sweet of him huh? hehex..
thanks sayang.. but i kinda want u call like every minute rather than knowing that u've been BUSY playing GAMES..
haha.. ok la.. kidding.. go play all u want.. as if i care... yea right.. haha

well, thanks sayang for caring and listening to my complains.. haha..
i noe u're sick of hearing abt how my body aches after every training and how i would start conv wif " u noe ah, my mum ah... blah blah blah.." haha...

isnt life great having a sayang who nvr complains much..
isn't it greater having lots more sayangs to replace a busy sayang? haha...
yeah it is.. hmm... lemme count how many sayangs i have..
3...5..10... shit.. i lost count.. LOL

well, to all my sayangs in bad.. basically everyone.. haha..
wad i'm trying to say is.. gd luck for syf on friday!!!
i'll be there rootin for ya'll!! =)
and please.. get a proper tie.. school tie.. not peer leader or councillor tie okay...
smile.. sit upright.. show 'em what u all can do! love what u r doing.. if can, some of u gals shud seduce the judges..
haha!! kidding..
most of all.. for the last few practices, be serious.. no more laughing n joking around.. it's ur final lap yah..
so.. JUST BRING IT!!! =))

to angklung ppl too.. if i'm not rong, u guys r involved on the same day too rite??
GOOD LUCK!! love ya'll!

buddy!!! miss you.. where'd you go...............
jie long.... nothing.. just like ur name.. haha...
weii... 6-06 rosythians... where r ya... miss ya peeps...!!
4B?? hmm.. i dunno.. u guys seem to disappear...

OuTZ~!

hey..

2005-04-05T00:50:00.000+08:00

RisE anD sHinE peOpLe~!!!

haha.. im supposed to be at work today..
but i called in sick..
actually i'm just too tired and lazy.. haha
btw, i helped fyda make her blog the other day..
http://www.heartachebitch.blogspot.com
go visit kay.. haha

last saturday we had a gathering at fyda's house..
post celebration of her b'day.. haha..
so many people in the house.. i dunno alot of them..
met Zhen Hui!!! haha.. so happy.. he's still so adorable..
haha.. im not inlove wif him la.. but i still think he's adorable.. =)

oh ya, before dat, we got trainin in the morning..
played bball wif 2 grps of guys at the pasir ris cc..
first grp of guys r i tink around our age.. maybe younger..
all very dao except one or 2.. but all play so rough..
cept for one shy guy.. i tink his name Alan.. or Allen.. or sumthin..
haha.. he was like super shy at first, kept hugging himself for protection or sumthing..
after dat he strted too b less shy n kept blocking n stealing the ball from me..
the game is boring and too serious..

2nd grp of guys.. older.. dunno how much la..
wen we saw them play, we thot theyre like selfish..
we asked them if we can use like their half of the court for awhile..
den one of the guys, i tink his name tian xue, insisted that we share..
so, my fren ask : u wanna play wif us.. like match..
all of them were stunned awhile.. haha
den finally agreed lor..
play wif them cannot stop laughing.. all so funny..
one so ke lian.. everytime ball hit his head or specs.. haha

there's one called Aloysius.. eh, i dunno how to spell.. Aloycious??
well, ya, he looks kinda familiar.. looks like one actor.. i forgot the name..
he's good-lookin.. actually average la.. but very friendly.. he even talk at his mum's sch..
haha.. cute right..
we actually got nicknames for all of them..
the tian xue is sun tanned.. cos he took off his shirt n can see the body all red..
aloysius is.. i dunno i dunno.. haha.. he kept saying dat..
one short guy super thin n super frenly.. even during their match between the 1st grp of guys,
he left the court, sat in front of us and crap! haha.. well, he's called kudut.. only malays noe la..
den the guy who got hit in the head is called bogel which means naked... he's short, short shorts n top half naked..
another guy is apek.. haha.. walks like one.. talk like one.. can even be called a model.. kept cat-walking n posing.. haha

ya.. played wif 5 of dem only..
the 2 grps played against each other.. guess who we support?
2nd grp of cos.. we everytime cheer for them..
i tink the first grp jealous.. haha.. all black face..
the only person we cheered for, is allen.. haha..
yea.. its obvious who won.. the 2nd one of cos..
score 21-12

after that we left for fyda's house.. only me n fad went..
after that of cos lotsa ppl come la.. i dunno one..
half the time i was bored.. no smses cept from anwar abt the bball thingy..
no calls.. not even from mcroy... haha..

ya, well.. abt 7.40 i left.. after calling so many ppl..
fyda talked to some of 'em too..
ya.. den go hm.. after dat go syarahan..
wait for bear to call.. but he busy till 2am.. do wad? talk to cousin..
hmph.. ya...........

tmr got training.. hope fyda's feelin betta... she got high fever seh..
im worried for her.. wonder what happen..
yah.. miss her..

i havent gotten my enrolment package yet.. my fren got it..
i dun even hav an answer from HTm interview.. still under consideration..
so slow... WOLS!!!

done... eh ya.. i updated some photos at http://wrigglyworm.multiply.com
go c the albums.. =)

OuTZ~!

fyda

2005-04-02T14:55:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FYDA!!!! =)

luv her lots`~! hehehe...

went out wif her.. took lotsa pics.. when updated then i'll tell u the webby...
great time wif her..

first meet her at hougang central.. accp her go trim her hair..
den laer go her house i got sabo-ed.. haha
she put on her makeup on me!! aah... stuff on my face..
dun like dat kinda feeling.. had to tahan the whole day la..
cannot make the b'day girl angry rite..
ya.. after dat, her mum made us eat yong tauhu.. is dat wad its called?
sumthing like dat la.. very delicious!! yum yum!

den head down to shell station near compass point..
went to see see the cutie pie.. haha!
went to see azhar la.. so cute in uniform.. haha..
so funny.. we waved at each other but he didnt noe it was us until we left..
tooopid!
den we go causeway point.. too neoprints.. got saboed again..
she made me wear my sleeveless shirt without the jacket..
im disgusted by my own reflection.. lol

after dat, went down to eat at the new restaurant CAVANA..
great food.. but we were like so full... the drink is nice also.. the sodas.. dunno what la.. haha
eh, b4 we eat, we go c the duno what civic centre library or sumthing..
nice n comfy place.. lotsa study areas..
so, after we eat, wanted to go back to compass point.. called anwar n bro to join us..
but azhar sleeping, dat anwar goin masjid like soon..
ya, while beggin them on the phone, we missed the stop..
so, we ended up dropping at their block there..

guess what we did??

we waited for them near their block..
then i sms, I DEMAND YOU TO COME DOWN NOW, WE ARE uNDR UR BLOCK!
hahaha..
so funny..
i tink anwar rushed down.. haha.. dat azhar la, still wana sleep..
waved at his parents at the window.. so scary leh.. haha
den he kept asking us to go up.. ut we didnt.. so he went up n we left..
was about to take a bus back when dat azhar call.. say he goin shop..
so, decided to hang out at mac.. he ate while we watch him eat n talk..
haha.. sofunny.. ya, we still tink hes super cute.. fyda got his photo, next time i show..
haha.. talk so happily until forgot the time.. left abt 7.30pm..
azhar was abt to go hm at the same time wif us.. lucky reminded him abt the stuff he had to buy..
haha.. stupid.. oops.. no la no la.. i bet if we tell this to figo, she jealous.. HAHA i'm so evil..

basically had a great day..
TILL teddy call... ugh.. made me angry again!
i hate him i hate him!!!!
dun wana talk abt it!

so, happy birfday to fyda once again!
LuRvE ya~!

OuTZ~

.

2005-03-30T03:58:00.000+08:00

lalala~

today whole day not home..
got back at around 10.30pm...
close ur mouths!
haha.. ya.. that late.. first time huh..
actually didnt wanna go hm ah..
got some problems ah..

so in the morning go play netball wif fyda, farah, irdayanah..
shafeeq, anwar n arif joined us so we played basketball instead..
but from time to time we changed from basketball to netball,
netball to basketball...
haha.. first few games we kinda won.. but after dat i lost all
my energy.. so got thrashed..
besides, it was raining n the floor was wet..
so i didnt run much..

afta dat, me n fyda went for lunch wif arif at magic wok..
the food was.. err.. okay la.. edible.. haha
not very nice or filling cos the food so little but cost so much..
yah.. but okay, wasnt hungry afta dat..

den go fyda house to bathe n just relax awhile,
before going out at 5plus to play again..
yar, called them all out again..
anwar's bro, azhar and shafeeq's bro fadil also came..
ya aniway me n fyda tinks azhar is cute.. really.. short n cute..
sumore he taking nursing.. gonna look so adorable in uniform..
haha!

ya.. afta dat we accp arif to play soccer wif his frens..
of cos me n fyda nv play..
talk to baby..
baby was angry at one pt cos i forgot baby was on phone..
i feel so bad.. sorry baby..
afta dat ok already..
talkin to baby make me feel much better..
afta put dwn talk to fyda till cry..

felt much better afta dat..
den go compass pt..
chill at mac to drink n buy iman's burger..
den we left..
arif so nice.. accp me to the interchange n wait for my bus n all..
nice right? haha.. ya, but his hse near.. so ya..

i went home.. salam my mum n straight to my rm..
my mum cried.. make me cry.. sighs.. im a bad daughter..

hmm ya... finally very sleepy now...
i'm loGGing oFF~

OuTZ~!!

orh

2005-03-29T11:23:00.001+08:00

Katrina by David Tao

Katrina I can't stop looking in your eyes.
But my words dont come out straight.
I dont know what to say .
On monday I tell myself you gotta wait Dave,
Don't rush it, Don't anticipate, take it slowly.
It's ok, It's ok.

And I just want a chance to know you to know the woman deep inside,
Yeah yeah (and) I don't wanna look back on life to see this missed opportunity
Yeah yeah (to get to know you)
Even at the risk of looking like a fool to you,
On wednesday I casually walk on by to find that you're not there,
I act like I dont care.
But on Friday I catch a glimpse of you I tell myself don't hesitate,
You just walk up and say hello! say hello!

And I just want a chance to know you to know the woman deep inside,
Yeah yeah (and) I dont wanna look back on life to see this missed pooprtunity.
Yeah yeah (to get to know you) even at the risk of looking like a fool to you

I just want a chance to know you to know the love you have inside,
Yeah yeah (and) i dont wanna look back on life to see this missed opportunity.
Yeah yeah even at the risk of looking like a fool to you.
Katrina will I ever know your heart...

sigh... such a sweet song... haha..
anyone got the mp3 can send? =P

hmm.. okay i just realised dat its been almost a week since i've updated..
i thot it's only yesterday that i last updated.. haha..
hmm.. okay..

well, last friday's training was fun.. durin the game we kept laughing..
i tink wif fadlinah around, everything becomes lighthearted.. haha
had so much fun..
we rest alot that day also.. cos its damn hot..

it's a gd day except abt the bad news we heard.. one of my fren, cant say her name, got slapped by her exbf..
FOR NO REASON!!
that is sooo NOT ACCEPTABLE!!! how dare he lay a finger at her while her parents never even hit her before?!
he's a BASTARD!

sorry for my foul language.. i cant help it.. well, this is what happened that day..
she went out.. went to her aunt's house.. alone.. it's normal for her cos she can just go out for a walk alone..
then, on the way to the bustop, he came up from behind her and dragged her to a block of flats..
apparently that area is kinda deserted.. not many ppl go there..

dragged her into the lift.. pressed the top floor n tried to make my fren talk..
she didnt talk.. she just ask him to go away n stop it..
he slapped her ONCE..
he asked her why he didnt reply his smses n pick up his calls...
she didnt answer, he slap AGAIN!!

just cos she didnt answer him, she got SLAPPED!!!
UNREASONABLE!!!
poor her.. she doesn't really trust guys now...
having guy probs like me.. who to trust? how to noe?
well.. i hope she's doing fine..

hmm.. okay.. life for me is okay...
recently got more problems la..
cannot tell so much.. later ppl anyhow think..
when i'm ready then i'll expose everything..

another great update..
i've given up K..
after 1 yr plus waiting, i decided to let him go..
he didnt answer my calls..
he didnt sms me to ask me why i called..
no sms no nothing..
yeah, fyda told me to forget him..
yep.... almost gone...

tmr goin to gym.. gonna let everything outta ma head...
yeah...

OuTZ~!

orh

2005-03-29T11:23:00.000+08:00

.........................

2005-03-24T10:56:00.000+08:00

i'm BACKK~!

haha..
hmm.. last monday, came back with a scraped right knee and a sprained left ankle..
sucky training.. one of my frens is also injured..
sumore it's her first training.. haha..
ball hit her face, cheek..
finger...

poor her...
she even spoil her shoe.. haha

but me.. swollen ankle, cant walk properly..
haha.. nvm.. im recovering..
hope can come back for training on FRIDAY..
btw, anyone wanna come n play with me n my fren on fri pls call me..
i need ppl to come and play with us lah...

anyways, i got into TEMASEK POLY taking info-communications..
wonder who is in the same course as me..
im gonna b so bored alone.. aww.. haha

ya.. anyway, finally talked to mcroy..
he sound very cute.. haha..
really doesnt sound like as his age..
so cute.. hee hee
anyway.. hes really a pig..
lol
eat n sleep only..

haha.. ok ya..
i dunno wad to say..
erm... miss u guys!!
haha okay... i really dunno wad to say..

haha... i'm done..

OuTZ~!

hi

2005-03-21T07:08:00.000+08:00

HarLow~

finally back with a new entry..
been busy this week..
yup, netball training..

had trainin on thurs n fri..
been a long time since i've had proper exercise..
so now, my whole body is aching..

first training was not bad.. 6 ppl turned up..
yah..
but 2nd training was poor.. 1 person less..

2nd day of training is super bad lor..
played wif a grp of bball frens.. GUYS..
i only noe one of them cos its one of my fren's bestfren..

yah.. regretted playing with them..
they had super big EGO lors..
cos we only had like 5 players n none of us noe any bball rules,
we kinda asked 2 guys who were at the bball court to join us..

so, its like 5(the bball guys) versus 7(us)..
we still lose lar.. but the 2 guys in our team are GREAT!
thanks to Rong Quan and Wee Kiat from Nan Chiao!!!!
yay.. so proud of them.. haa..

they r like our star players of our team..
last minute shoot also can score.. gosh.. POWER!
haha..
ya, and so, upon seeing that the 2 guys in pur team ar gd,
the bball guys felt that its not fair that we r inviting 'outsiders' to play..
den we were all arguing that we r netball players playiin against bball players of cos we nid help lar..

dey keep saying we no pride n all lor..
den last minute they also dun wana play.. kaozz...
make us pissed lor..
sumore they were also playin rough which we didnt complain..

so we just left lar.. cos really damn pissed..
me la, im very pissed cos RUBEN nvr even apologised even once when he banged me!!!
ugh! yah.. that's the bball guy.. my fren's bestfren..
lucky im not gonna c him anymore.. if not, i'll EXPLODE!!

anyway, i luv FIDAH!! haha..
no, i'm not lesbian... or am i????
LOL
yah.. anyway she's the GREATEST! known her since pri sch frm madrasah, to playin netball against her sch n till now..
frens forever!!

the 2days of training, we went to GYM together too..
so nice of her to bring me there.. haha..
my first time in a gym was so funny.. i didnt noe wad to start with..
she showed me of cos..
now i noe how weak i am.. i cant lift the 20pound weights for even 2 mins!!
such a weakling! haha.. embarassing lah.. so many fit ppl there..
and im like a blur fat ass..

we kinda rested there for quite long till even one muscular guy noticed..
idiot la that guy.. haha.. but funny.. very friendly lar..
now that i start goin to the gym, i'm gonna make myself lose weight..
too fat already.. i hope i can like at least lose 3kg!! difficult u noe..
haaha..

anyway friday evening, quarrelled with teddy.. he was in a bad mood n he kinda
vent his anger at me.. yah.. i cried.. cos i was already pissed with ruben n he sms me n say such things..
cried cos i very angry.. yah.. den ok very fast.. cos he made me laugh..

den yesterday nite.. it happened again lor.. i dunno y he bad mood la..
we're on the phone n he was also watchin tv, den i had to go for awhile..
after dat ask him to call back but he didnt reply.. i didnt think he was sleeping cos i noe he wud slp late..
so i tried calling.. he picked up.. so i asked him if he was slping before i called..
he said he was just watchin tv.. so i asked y he nvr replyy.. den he said sumthin dat made me angry lar..
so i hung up.. argued in sms.. i cant talk la.. was crying badly lar..

sms until i gave up on insisting what he shud do.. so i apologised for everythin n thot he wud just leave me alone..
he called lar.. he also apologised.. i didnt talk.. was crying again.. how stupid i am right.. after that sumthin disgusting happen so i m back to normal.. talk till he fell asleep.. haha

today, guess what happen early in the morning???
he came to look for me!
nuts lar he..

okay.. now u'll be thinkin dat im head over heels for him..
NO!
i treat him just like a brother.. really.. i dun wan it to go any deeper..
altho he said he has feelings for me.. i pushed it away..
i dun wan a relationship to spoil it all...
plus, i'm not in love with him..

i tink i'm in love with someone i've never seen or talk to..
been waiting for him for over a year.. LOL.
yup yup yup..
i cant wait for the day we'll actually meet, if it ever happens la..
its not as if im desperate.. i'm just letting nature take its course..
if fated, we'll be together.. if not, too bad for me..

yah.. so, i'm enjoying every moment of my single life..
girls who are not attached, dun be so sad lah..
u have girlfriends what.. go out and enjoy!!

OuTZ~!

erm..

2005-03-15T09:50:00.000+08:00

hie...

time for a real update..
i'm MARRIED!!!!!
LOL

nah.. was just kidding... hehe

hmm.. i am now sick
down with the flu
but i am still my normal self..
cept abit more cheerful and crazy
haha..

wondering how that happened..
yah.. my new fren..
let's say.. talking to him just brightens up my day
and no, i dont like him as in.. u noe.. more than frens..
i only like him as a FRIEND.. yah..

well.. basically he's just hilarious..
lol
try talking to him.. u'll die of laughing..
haha
btw, his name is teddy..
and no, not that teddy u ppl noe of..

so.. these days been so bored n all..
yah.. so hes the solution.. LOL
he sounds n talks kinda like erm.. sum1 i noe..
its kinda creepy.. cos its as if im talking to that other person..
haha.. yah..

ok, enuff abt him..
hmm.. 4B is having a bbq on the 25th!! yays!!
BUT
i have netball training on that day...
so, that means i'll be there kinda late..
*sighs*

oh.. havent told u abt my netball thing have i?
erm.. well..
sum of u noe that i go some kinda sunday sch for muslims rite..
well, they r having an inter-mosque tournament on 17th april..
ya.. so.. that's why i got training n all..
and yes.. we are wearing our scarf n all to play..
i can hear ppl laughing already..
ya, well.. im kinda scared..
haha

what else?
er.. oh ya..
kinda have sum misunderstanding with kev..
yup.. all bcos of oversensitive me..
but we're okay now.. thanks to him.. =)

ok.. now is the time for the star of my blog..
yep.. mcroy..
erm.. nothin much to say..
he still doesnt reply my smses..
but sms me sum weird stuff..
kinda weird cos i dunoo..
haha.. just that i dont expect him to send that..
and.. when i reply that msg, he just ignores it..
hmph!
so yah.. still kinda pissed that he doesnt reply..

now.. im missing so many ppl..
haix.. so sian..
miss mys...
miss 4B darlings..
miss buddy...
miss kor...
miss my juniors...
miss michelle n caiyi from choir..
miss my choir frens..(winson, syahid, edwin n gang)
miss that stupid PIG who calls me PIG for no reason..
miss KEV...
miss my 2D lamers.. lol
haha.. basically miss everyone i noe...
cant list them all.. too many.. haha

kay.. now im pissed..
im not allowed to stay over my fren's hse on thur's nite..
i dun understand y..
its not as if im staying in a guy's house..
that is definitely not acceptable..
but im staying over in one of my bestfren's hse..
and my bestfren is a girl.. a GIRL!!!
and it's only for A NITE... THIS WEEK ONLY..
totally sucks!
but i dont care.. i'm still goin over to her place anyway..
haha.. yah.. me BAD girl..
i am not known as a DEVIL for no reason huh..

well.. that's it..

OuTZ~!

..........ll

2005-03-12T18:29:00.000+08:00

hey...
goodmorning peeps!!

lol..
guess what?
i'm on the phone now..
ive been on the phone since 10.30pm..

haha.. i am so dead when my bill comes out..
im gonna have to pay for it...
and now he made me pissed..

i am seriously pissed...
ugh!!
hate him!!
i'm going off now...

..........ll

2005-03-10T15:27:00.000+08:00

erm...
let u all see what i painted..
its ugly..

but please, don't steal it from me.. thks

LOVE

MISS YOU

inspired by wan ying.. thks..

<3

2005-03-10T15:21:00.000+08:00

my heart cracked this evening..
my day was almost great until *he came online..
thot i cud have our usual conversation online..
but after a 'hi',
he replied.. " hello...do i knoe u?"

i was kinda crushed..
i almost cried over this l'il matter..
yah, u gonna say i'm petty..
whateve okay..

i mean..
ugh.. nevermind..
to that person:
have i done something wrong?
if so, i'm really sorry..
can u pls just tell me n not ignore me??
izzit cos i chat wif adam?
or that person kept smsing u to leave me alone?
is it? will u pls just leave me an sms..
i swear i dont who the person is..
and i've never given any1 ur number.. why should i??
pls sms me..

WeeS~

2005-03-10T09:10:00.000+08:00

HarLoW PeePs~!

i'm back.. finally..
it's been a while...

okay.. firstly, sorry for the ugly colours in my blog..
actually, i dun really like the template...
but, no choice..
its the nicest among all the rubbish
LOL

yeah.. so bare with me kay...

aniway.. wan ying helped me change sum colours..
looks better than before..
THANKS!
LoVe ya~! *huGs*

well, it's been a long weekend for me..
started to go for work again..
TIRED~

Tuesday i went out wif mei yun, meiping n ping chong
i was thinking of givin us a name..
wad about.. MY PMS(Meiyun.Yunjing Pingchong.Meiping.Sitimastura)!!
LOL

haha..ok.. nvm..
back to tuesday..
they all went out in the morning to pay the fees
for application of schools at MOE
wanted to accp them there
but i was delayed by MUM

so, decided to meet them afterwards.
BUT
they were LATE!
hmph~ notti ppl!
so i had a lonely lunch.. *poor me*

went to look for my shoe at far east..
haix.. dont have..
they only have it another colour..
so went to heeran also dont have..
decided to buy the other colour..
but NO SIZE!

went back far east to see if there's size for me..
there is a BIG size..
fits me just nice..
BUT
cant buy.. cos, i need some space for socks too!!
sadness..

i didnt buy... felt like crying..
no luck..
im sure, now no more of my dream shoes..
ugh~
was frustrated..
so i end up buying a skirt..
haha..
wonder when i'll wear it.. =p

still very sad..
my dream shoe...
not for me...

oh ya, on the way back saw jw n benson
they so cute.. haha
so happy to c them back together..
he very thin sia..
look like drug addict abit.. LOL
sorry sorry.. but really..
thin n frail, eye bags, droopy eyes, super thin..
yah.. thats pretty much him..
okok sorry.. but please eat more!!
u too jw! =p

*siGh*
still sad... i want my shoe.. *cries*

i cant think of anything to say about the star of my blog..
yes sgt goh..
u disappeared..
like i said.. u appear out of nowhere, then u disappear suddenly..
gone for a long time..
den suddenly will appear again..

so, whaddya expect me to write abt u?
when i giv miss call, u reply"why?"
and when i reply, u didnt reply back..
PIG!
hmph!
ya, im angry..

ok.. i better go off now..
before i start cursing innocent people..

OuTZ~!

tired~

2005-03-05T15:43:00.000+08:00

busy busy busy day!!

wake up in the morning
cant help but keep on yawning
feel so lethargic
what am i gonna do

turn on the radio
to my favourite show

k.. cant remember the rest of the words liao..
but love the song.. haha..
and it cheers me up each mornin..
woke up early today..
whyee??
hospitality and tourism managment interview!!

my gosh.. i panicked since last nite...
wake up cos shane sms me..
lucky he sms me...

ok aniway.. didnt really have breakfast cos i was so nervous
so, i drank tea and left the house..
i wore a little formal outfit to somehow impress the lecturers..

it was so damn cold at the waiting area..
and there's like only me n another girl from katong convent..
but our numbers are 267 and 268..
gosh, i like the way she speak english..
i tink so does the lecturers..

i was so nervous, i almost cried..
lols
well, that girl was good..
but i hope im better.. lol

well, anyway the qn i couldnt ans was..
"if u are so keen in joining the course, y r u here on the last day?"
den we're like.. erm.. erm...
haha

i got frightened cos one of the lecturers(there were 2) keep looking at me..
i mean im not sayin hes a pervert la..
but kinda makes me uncomfortable.. cos he stares, rubs his chin n nods..
haha..

well.. i sure hope i did well...
after that, went shopping at tm..
alone.. DUH
and i bought a shirt!!

kinda regret it..
cos its damn expensive n im supposed to be saving money for a skirt!!
naughty me...

pls.. somebody ask me out.. and then pay for everything..
hehe.. ya la.. i always treat ppl..
now i need sum1 to treat me..
haix.. im outta money very soon!!
no job..

maybe can be like michelle..
get a rich boyfriend..
marry him.. den be a tai tai..
lols

hehe.. no la..
im not that desperate.. btw, im not saying mic is despo also..
but if i get a rich guy, im very happy..
no worries abt future.. =p

hmm.. tmr finally working..
need lotsa money..
must remind me not to waste it..

P.S.. sum1 take me out n pay for all expenses pls!!! lols

OuTZ~!

o results...

2005-03-02T08:14:00.000+08:00

i am super duper disappointed by my results..
aimed for less than 20 point and see what i get..
more than 20...

yesterday.. came to school..
tried to be confident and i was at least calm when i reach school..
waited for shu mei but she was late.. what's new eh? lols..
anyway.. saw alot of juniors i miss..

i was still calm eventho they kept askin abt O's n stuff n how i feel..
as it nears 2pm.. i got a little nervous
well, actually the big blow was when Juli and Nat came..
wow.. hugged n wish each other good luck..

then..
Juli kinda shouted, " i am so scared!!!" wow.. big blow for me..
altho, i just laughed hehe.. well, its not her fault.. we're all scared.. lol
she kinda shook me.. haha.. i began panicking.. started sweating like a pig..
yes, PIG.. mcroy, i can hear u going "hee~"

so, i decided to go to the canteen first..
yeah.. so i panicked even more when i realised dat half of 4B are already in the hall..

i was like hugging my cousin in the canteen..
n den hug alice.. hugged alot of ppl..
squeezed their hands too.. lol.. sorry ya, very nervous..
well.. wanna thank all u ppl who believed in me..
esp nazmi , *hero and of cos my beloved kor..

so, when it was time for the principal to talk, i was like biting my fingernails n all.. haha..
looked at the statistics.. was scary..
the percentage for 5 or more credits dropped.. was thinking im one of em..
so many depressing news before we're given our results personally..

first look.. i was stunned.. i was so scared.. so blur... dunno wads on that paper..
then i stared n stared.. when si rui came n talk to me abt her results den i start seeing my results..
i started tearing alittle.. when i look at my maths.. got lower den expected.. B3..
then look down.. look at both sciences n humanities.. triple blow..

like waterfall.. it couldnt stop..
i ran to the toilet... looked at the results n cry even more..
called mum n told her.. she sounded disappointed..
i cried even more.. sobbing uncontrollably in the cubicle..
i just wanted to go home and cry..

so i just left.. syahid tried to talk to me..
den rizal.. den nazmi..
i just couldnt talk..

walked to the bustop head down..
bumped onto so many ppl but i didnt care..
all i want is to go home..
waiting for bus.. bus didnt come.. saw yun jing..
she asked how i did.. she just smiled at my results..
i hugged her.. said i did well.. haix..
maybe i was overreacting.. after all i got a B4 for english!!

always getting a c6 for it.. if not i wud fail tests..
den mei yun n mei ping came.. comfort me..
said they wanted my eng results.. haha..

den shan came.. she was more depressed den i was..
unlucky case.. we hugged.. i feel sad for her..
well, girl.. its not the end of the world.. ms soh always told us..

my sis sms me.. she was excited to noe my results..
so i called her n told her what i got.. she sound kinda disappointed..
but was okay.. well, i cried sumore.. haha..
yeah, emotional me... once i cry, its hard to stop..

later we went back to the hall.. on the way i met so many ppl..
all ask.. they noe i was crying.. haha.. funny.. i got a red nose the whole day..
then, stayed around the hall.. all comparing results..
kor came to talk to me.. almost cry again..
he la.. talk until so serious.. lucky i didnt cry again..

asked buddy how he did.. to me its good..
but he was really disappointed.. he didnt smile at all..
so, yesterday no chance to see his cute smile lor..
i was worried cos when i smsed him n told him it was gd, he didnt reply. i ask him to smile, he oso didnt reply..
sent alot of sms but didnt reply.. he was really really upset..

well.. i hope he gets better very soon..
miss his laughter.. on msn that is.. lol

i was back to myself again soon.. i can smile already after that..
ok, anyway.. after sitting in the hall so long.. me, yj, mp, jas, yf, sr, connie, ps, nick chua, kelvin, justin go kfc n eat..
we're super hungry...

last nite went online.. lotsa ppl still online..
guess they're checkin out the JAE website..
so i decided to wait alittle longer to go in n see too; since i cudnt sleep..

buddy was still upset.. thot he was okay already..
but i understand.. he was disappointed.. just like me..
dat's y nvr talk much.. wanna make him feel better but i guess he wanted to be alone..
so yeah.. well, i care for him.. hes my buddy after all..
altho i only noe him for only a few mnths, hes like my bestfren.. hahas
yeah.. well, bud, if u reading this, i hope u cheer up very soon..
miss talkin to ya.. u wanna talk im here okay.. take care, bud!

hmm.. den got one student from nyp..
said wanna ADVICE me on picking the RIGHT courses..
shes so unfriendly n fierce.. i dun like her..
i like the senior who survey-ed me abt the sch..
he nicer.. friendlier n FOC(full of crap, if u must know) lols
well, anyways inbetween our conversation..
i invited a 'fren' in n his fren to it.. cant say who la.. later got spy den i die.. hehe..
yah.. conversation became crappy.. chaotic.. and also stupid.. lols..

lotsa insults n critics.. but i like it.. haha!
nice job guys! keep it up!
well.. decided to slp when i realised it was already 3am!!

thot i cudnt slp.. i smsed *hero.. n in a few mins.. im a goner.. lol

okay now.. reflections... thinking back..
i've made achievements in O-results despite those depressing grades lah..

1. i passed all 7 subjects!!!!
never in my life, has dat happen..
i mean secondary school la..

2. i passed humanities! but.. it was a c6 :(
first time.. i never passed any humans subj before..
except in sec2 common test.. history full marks.. WOW.. lols..

3.i passed A-maths!!!!!!!!c5:D
wow.. great great achievement from sec4.. in sec4 i nvr passed before..
durin the O's, i didnt do a quarter of qns in paper one.. n half in paper2..
MIRACLE!
i almost decide to drop the subj.. thank god i didnt...

4. i passed ENGLISH!!!!
most worried abt this,,. and i got a b4!!
wow.. last time either fail or get a C..
woo hoo!!

see.. not bad.. i just overreacted n didnt look at my results in this way...
stupid me.. cry too much for nothing..
well.. im satisfied with my achievements.. just not satified with the grades...
yup.. well.. now i gotta really think properly abt my choices..
and then.. gotta work hard in poly.. u can do it, MAS!!!!

OuTZ~!

lala

2005-02-27T14:45:00.000+08:00

hmm... monday is coming.. i am so blardy scared... so worried..
kinda anxious too.. wonder how i faired.. wonder what my reaction will be after getting results..

okay.. enough of my nonsense.. i got to stay positive yeah?? uh-huh!

today is saturday.. first time i went out wif jan for 2 days consecutively..
yesterday we were on a shopping spree at bugis and then to heeran..
she bought slippers while i bought a shoebag since its an offer of only $5.90..
the price got me tempted lars.. haha..
and since i need it for netball training, i decided to buy it..

yeps.. went to also look for my sis ring but dun have.. i tink its at far east.. hahas..
wanted to also look for my outfit for erm.. erm.. i tell u wad la..
yah.. outfit.. but too bad we didnt have the time.. i had to be hm early..

today.. was fun.. went to ecp.. i went rollerblade while she cycle..
its been a real long time since i last skated.. about 3 yrs.. maybe even 4..
embarassed myself by almost falling at every hump.. haha..
tried to cycle.. but of cos, i couldnt.. haha!

oh ya.. saw dric kor.. he wearing yellow.. with cap.. his fringe nice sia.. hehe
he dun wan shake my hand.. hmph..
btw, it's his b'day today! not only him but also justin and babin..
a song for u ppl..

HaPPy BirTHdae TO yeW~
HaPPy BirTHdae TO yeW~
HaPPy BirTHdae TO EDDRIC, JUSTIN and BABIN~~~
HaPPy BirTHdae TO yeW~!!!
*aPPlauSe*

LOL

erm.. also saw a couple too.. shall not disclose their identities lah.. hehe
well, best wishes for them both.. =)

another thing.. i forgot abt the star of my blog.. hahas..
sgt mcroy called me when i was abt to leave hm..
but i cudnt ans cos mum at hm..
den he sms say wanna meet..
but in the end didnt cos he at hm while i am goin out..
hehe.. sorry lar.. next time..
ya.. thats abt it..

after that my parents tompang janice n send her home..
den we headed to NUS to fetch my sis n then go for dinner..

now i'm bloated.. *BurPS~* lol

hmm.. tmr sunday.. so busy.. dun tink im attending netball training..
got to tutor my cousin..
den following day.. moment of truth.. judgement day..

well, to 4B n all those i noe taking results on monday, ALL THE BEST!!!!!!
love u guys lots.. miss u guys too~

and btw, erm.. i currently cant reply to ur tags.. sorry.. wait till i have my own comp okay..
but thanks for tagging.. also, do keep it coming.. cos i always look forward to it..
hehe..
take care peeps~!!

LOVE YA!!

OuTz~!

..........ll

2005-02-25T15:22:00.000+08:00

hmmm.. change of plans.. results are out this coming MONDAY!
hmm.. not happy.. more nightmares coming up..

decided to update cos it isn't fair if i keep bugging ppl to update while i myself didnt..
yepx.. and also another thing lar.. this guy wanna be the star of my blog.. hahax..

hmm.. he is a guy.. yah.. i noe u all noe dat lar.. haha.. cannot say too much lar.. dun wan to reveal his identity..
i can only say dat he's working currently n den goin poly very soon.. same time as me i guess..
hmm.. we only sms n chat n email.. haven really talk to him yet..

he ask me out on a date too.. either this weekend or nextwk lar.. quite diff lar cos we both busy.. haha..
k.. erm.. must giv u name.. later everyone confuse.. he is known as sgt mcroy can? haha..

ya.. dis sgt mcroy ah abit siao de.. call me pig for nothing also.. erm ya.. he DOZES OFF while waiting for my replies..
actually only once lar.. hahax.. but still must emphasise cos ah dat time i cannot slp.. den i send so many sms lor..

he owes me lots n lots of lollipops n bubblegums.. wad elsE? i also dunno.. later got sumore i add on lar.. for now.. dat's it..
well,, Sgt. McRoy, happy mah? u star of the show liao.. take away all my limelight.. hmph.. u owe me more treats..

OuTZ~!!

doomsday..

2005-02-23T06:35:00.000+08:00

haix. been feeling anxious and nervous and scared at the same time.. dats y haven been blogging for a week liao..
dat stupid senior from nyp la.. scare me abt the olevel results n all.. evil.. everywhere i go, everyone i meet talk about the Oresults.. scary..

not feeling so good abt it either.. n now i'm sick.. having a bad cough.. slight fever n flu.. ugh.. 3 more days to doomsday.. i'm very worried.. havent even really decided the poly or the course i want.. i mean i have in mind what i want.. but still have to be open to other courses too lah..

life isnt great for me.. not only cos of the Os.. its everything.. haix.. i am now stuck.. all my relatives wan me to go jc.. they all were like saying.. make us proud n go jc la, girl.. u can do it wan.. i can see dat most of them were disappointed when i told them dat i wanna continue in a poly.. i mean, they'll be more disappointed if they were to know my normal scores in sch exams if i were to say i will go to a jc.. what a let down i am..

sucky feeling.. hate it.. haix.. this wk.. don ask me out please.. i got no mood.. maybe nextwk can.. maybe only la.. cos i still gotta work.. my money almost gone.. well.. to everyone taking results dis friday.. all the best!! =)

OuTZ~!

..........ll

2005-02-15T17:04:00.000+08:00

Phew! i'm beat..

Just came back from a short trip to JOHOR.. yup.. really short.. when there in the evening, back in SG by 10pm.. the only place we went to shop is the night market.. lol.. oh ya, sorry michelle and caiyi, couldnt smuggle the bubble gums for u guys.. i didnt have time to actually go to the super market.. sorry hor.. heex.. i'll buy u sumthing else when i meet u beauties okay? =)

eh ya.. today is already tuesday.. so, yesterday afternoon, he finally smsed me.. said sumthin's wrong with his phone again.. so my msg got delayed.. well, at least he received it.. hehe.. his msg did wonders to my mood after that.. i was a happy person.. lol.. he waited for my sms when i reach SG eventho he was sleepy.. sho sweet right... exactly.. hehe.. he even saved me from another jealous girl who wanted to kill me for stealing his heart! *winks* he's my hero.. LOL

now.. i'm sick.. everyone in my family has recovered from their contagious(apparently i wasnt affected at that time) flu n fever.. n now i've cought the flu and cough.. ugh.. tmr, i'm not working.. guess i have to stay home n rest..

n now.. it's time for me to log off and go to sleep.. and whoever reading this now too! lol.. kidding... oh well.. sweet dreams people..

OuTZ~!